Curly Girl

So I’ve been rocking my natural curl since college.  Although I straighten my hair from time to time, I’ve been chemical free for about 13 years. As a result of my curl longevity I am often asked about what products I use. So I thought I’d do a post about curly hair products. And I am a true curly hair product junkie.

To start, it should be noted that not every product works the same for everyone. Curl experts explained that there are 3 main curl patterns (see http://www.naturallycurly.com/hair-types). Within those curl patterns are three subtypes. Check out the link above to find a curl similar to yours. Once you know your curl type it will be much easier to find the products right for you. In general if you have fine hair, the moisturizer should be lighter. If you have thick/kinky hair, you will need a heavier moisturizer and it might be beneficial to twist it at night to get a more defined curl. My curl is a 3c. After years of trying different products (and I’ll still try new things just for the heck of it), I have found what works for me. As it is now, I only wet/wash my hair twice a week and can hold a curl for about 4 days, which includes wearing it in a pony tail by the last day.

Here’s my routine:

·        Wash hair with a moisturizing/sulfate free shampoo once a week (the second time I just wet it and “wash” it with a conditioner)

·        Condition with a moisturizing conditioner. Preferably a leave in conditioner or just rinse out some of the conditioner but leave a little on. I use a shea butter leave in conditioner.

·        While wet I put a generous amount of Kinky Curly custard all over my hair (I also like Miss Jessies Curly Pudding). You can get this online but you’ll also find it in many beauty supply stores, Rite Aid, Targets, CVS, Whole Food, etc.

·        I’ll let it air dry for as long as possible and then will go over it with a blow dryer with a diffuser attachment, pulling at my curls as I dry for maximum length.

·        At night, I loosely pin my hair up to prevent breakage and keep curls stretched. Also, if you can, sleep on a silk or satin pillow to keep moisture and prevent breakage.

·        In the morning, I use any of the following to revitalize my curls, they all work well: Miss Jessies Curly Buttercreme (pricey but is the best to prevent shrinkage due to humidity), Kinky Curly Spiral Spritz or Taliah Waajid Curly Cream (the cheapest)

·        The third day I will add some natural coconut oil to the ends to again prevent breakage. This may seem like a lot of moisturizer/product but the enemy of curly hair is dryness. Just because you don’t use heat or chemicals doesn’t mean it won’t break off. In fact, if you can, try doing a hot oil treatment or deep conditioner with coconut oil once a week.

Here are few of my favorite sites regarding curls:

www.curlynikki.com – all around awesome blog on curly hair

www.missjessies.com- they have a new line out called pillow soft curls that I want to try. I want big soft curls!
www.kinky-curly.com – I'm big on their products

www.curlmart.com – great guidance on top products for curly hair

www.carolsdaughter.com – special shout out to her for making a line for people transitioning from relaxed to natural!

If you have products that work for you, please share!

Would you survive a horror movie?

That's the title of a new game show I saw on the Chiller network and it, along with me recently watching the remake of Dawn of the Dead (my favorite horror movie) got me thinking: could I survive a real horror situation? Sure I've taken the quizzes and found I could survive and my love of horror movies has made me more "street smart" than normal but that doesn't mean I would live through a real life zombie attack. Let's look at some situations, shall we?

1. Zombie attack- I live in the city. Soo I'm already doomed based on the sheer large people population. Usually folks fair better in the countryside or out in the middle of west nowhere. Assuming I could get out of my apartment and into my car alive, I'd drive to the least populated part of anywhere I could. I'd call fam and friends to tell them to do the same. The key is to keep it moving. Getting trapped in a mall is not cool. Staying in a barn house in the country typically gives you a fairer shot. Don't get sentimental. If mom turns into a zombie, she isn't getting a fairwell hug from me. Sorry playa! One thing I do need to learn is how to shoot or at least hold a machete. Running real fast will only help me out for so long...
2. Alien attack- I think I'm a gonner here. Alien attacks typically happen (in the movies) in the most populated cities in the world. I live in the DC area. Even if I survived the Independence Day like bombing of the capital, getting out in the traffic that would occur as a result of alien ships hoovering over us would be insane. I'd have to go on foot. Assuming I could hide from the aliens while getting away, I might have a chance. But I'm no Sigorney Weaver. If I see a scary alien, I would run for my life. If a little girl gets grabbed by one of them, I would not go back to get her. Maybe if she was family, maybe...mostly probably not though.
3. Outbreak or Pod people invasion- Like the above but I'd have the least chance of survival. Too many darn people around and I ride the metro which is prime past-your-germs-around arena. I try not to touch anything but it can be hard. Yeah, unless I have a strong immune system I don't think I would make it. Since I'm always around folk I could see becoming a victim of body snatching as well. Darn!
4. Haunted House- I think I'd live here. I don't like to investigate things so if something strange happens I'm out.  In high school I remember being out with friends and two of them started running past us. I took off running with them. I had no idea why we were running but when we got to "safety" then I asked. Turned out to be a loose dog. I never looked behind me. I just know they were scared and therefore so was I. I don't play around. And if I find chairs stacked up on my table like Poltergeist, I'm moving. I don't care how it happened. It will remain a mystery of life for me to think about in my new home. If my husband didn't want to leave, he can stay...alone. If you've seen any horror movie, 9 times out of 10, the spirits don't start causing foolishness until the dad is away. Dads are always the last to know and when they do, it's when all hell has broken loose. I'm not waiting for that. Holla!
5. Monster/Oversized or Rabid animal- I'm not sure here. I'm a runner not a fighter. I'd fight if pushed but I'm not going to be the one to come up with the plan to capture it. I break out in a sweat just killing a bug forget fighting off Cujo. My plan will likely be to get out. If I can't get out, then lets set up some defenses and hide.
6. Crazy killer- I'd like to think I'd live here too. Here's what I know not to do: if you hear a noise or enter a dark house/room- don't say "hello". Don't say anything. Why do you have to announce your presence to the killer? In fact, just don't go in, it's dark in there. Keep it moving. Also, if he's chasing you, don't run up the stairs, might as well just walk for all that. If you hear a noise- don't ignore it. I live alone, if I hear noises and it isn't my cat or a neighbor and nothing I know about, I won't shrug and keep going. If the source of the noise is unknown, I'd grab a weapon and either hide or get out. Finally- don't split -the -heck- up. If you aren't pressed for time just stay together and search the grounds. Sure it'll take longer but typically more people will have a better shot at surviving. Jason typically killed people one at a time not in a group...
7. Ghost- It's a toss up here. If its like the kind in the Haunted House, I could make it but if its like the child from The Ring, eh. I mean, I'd pass on the tape to another but then again, I wouldn't watch random crap either. If she was haunting my child, I might research how to get rid of her. Call up an exorcist and Zelda from Poltergeist.
8. Random- Things I don't do in general that would probably keep me alive:
1. play out in the deep end of natural waters (Jaws),
2. go out in or explore uncharted or less populated woods/caves/planets/basements (too many movie examples here),
3. run off with strangers in foreign countries (Hostel),
4. call up spirits (Candyman),
5. ignore the words of people I know, including children (how many movies did a person die after a kid or friend warn them not to do something? Mimic, Final Destination. No need to be gullilble but at least be cautious),
6. investigate (that's what the cops and soldiers are for),
7. go up to or stick around weird looking people (if someone looks off (bloody mouth, odd stance or composition, glazed eyes) I don't want to ask them if they are okay, I can check that out and call 911 from a safe distance)

Good luck out there and stay away from Bath Salts!

This is Why I'm Hot: Things I think about when I'm hot

105 degrees in this neck of the woods folks and I am not fairing well. In fact it has inspired a lot of internal diaglouge that I felt should be shared with others to prevent myself from going crazy. Here are my top five things I have now learned about the heat:

1. The Heat can kill you- So I'm in my 5th week of the couch to 5k program. Today was the 20 minute run day and I started it off all wrong by waiting until 845 am to go running. It's already tough enough because there are no paths that are completely without inclines for 3 miles. As soon as I started I knew it was a mistake. Halfway through I was fighting for my life and had to stop the run or else embarass myself by passing out. When I got home I was soaking wet. I mean it looked like I just got out of the shower.
2. The Heat makes struggle- So after I took an hour and a half nap to regain my energy from the jog, I decide to go to the grocery store. While walking to the car I literally thought this: why is it so hot, I can't breathe, I'm going to pass out and burn on the hot asphalt, will anyone see me and call the police. This was all in the span of me walking from the apartment to the car. Once getting to the store, I see that it is completely packed. One would think that the heat would cause people to stay inside. Well not in my town. So the lines were crazy long. I almost read an entire magazine while waiting in line.
3. The Heat makes you want to diet- At the store, I only bought healthy foods because I have decided to detox from fast food, alchol and high fat foods. While purchasing these items I felt lighter. Like I had already dropped a few pounds. I'm sure the scale will bring me back to reality but do you ever get that feeling that just the mind set of preparing for a diet makes you thinner already? Or am I the only crazy one?
4. The Heat makes you sleepy- I already had a nap and now want another one. I mean there isn't enough oxygen in the air outside to do anything else. I don't even want to walk back to my car to drive anywhere. Just sleep and dream of 50 degree weather. Why did I hate the cold again?
5. The Heat makes you angry- On my struggle to return home from jogging and the grocery store I kept thinking- No body better talk to me, It's too hot for all that. Yes, it is literally too hot to be cordial. I don't need you talking to me out in this heat, there is enough hot air out here already. Nod your head and keep it going. Being neighborly can suck it right now.

That is all for now, off to my nap and will hopefully dream of Frosty the Snowman.

Zero Tolerance For Little Jerks

I know I'm late to the game but I still have to comment on this. What happened to this woman is disgusting and I have no sympathy for these ignorant children. They were old enough to know they were being cruel. There used to be a time that kids feared adults or at least had enough respect for them that they wouldn't dare act up in front of them. Not sure what's gone on since I left school.

Having been a victim of bullying in my middle school years and a bit in high school, I know how cruel kids can be and I know that with each decade kids are becoming crueler. It's easier to be mean now based on the access to ugliness that kids see on TV and the fact that they have more mediums to be jerks (facebook, twitter, text messaging, emailing). I know middle school kids are the cruelist of all and would not want to repeat any part of those three years of my life ever again. The damage bullying can do to your self esteem even into your adult years is profound.

Yes, some kids grow out of being bullies but many don't. With the work that I do, I can tell you with great certainty that bullying doesn't stop at graduation. A boss can bully and so can a coworker. We might call it workplace harassment. And that's exactly what this poor bus monitor faced. What makes it so horrible is not  just the dispicable things these little jerks said but that they were so heartless in the first place. What was the point? Do they feel like better people? Who are their parents?

I never understood being pointlessly mean to someone. Not as a child and still not as an adult. I believe in karma and I believe in giving out what you hope to receive. To put someone down who has never done you wrong and who should receive your respect as an elder is mind blowing to me. To verbally assault a person unprovoked is not something that should be taken lightly. I hope these kids get a severe punishment. They should be taught now that such behavior is not acceptable. In fact, in the "real world" it could get you physically hurt or fired from your job. At the very least it makes you a menace to society that this world needs less of. I hope that other children ostracize these little buttwipes; nothing like your own peers hating your behavior that really makes things hit homes.

Don't Ask Me That!

So I'm listening to the radio at work this morning and the show hosts were questioning callers regarding whether they would be pissed if a man said “should you be eating that?”. This, to me, falls in the category of questions that will get you pimped slapped. So I thought, wouldn’t it be nice if I help the fellow man by giving him a list of the top questions/statements that would avoid him receiving the evil eye from a woman he likes?

Should you be eating that?- Nothing makes me feel more like a moo-cow than me being in the middle of a deliciously fattening meal, doing my little chair dance with every bite only to be interrupted by a dude with a disapproving glance asking me this question with the allegedly questionable food on my fork headed towards my mouth. Now, it doesn’t matter the size of the girl, it is offensive all around. If I am overweight, thanks for basically calling me fat. If I mentioned trying to drop a few, thanks but I don’t need your input. I already know the chocolate covered French fries wont’ help me on this quest and I don’t need you hovering over me monitoring my food intake. If I’m thin, thanks but stay off my plate, women shouldn’t be penalized if we choose to eat things that aren’t on the rabbits food list. I see you enjoying your ribs, let me enjoy mine too!

Are you on your period?- You know what? Sometimes we get angry for good reason and it’s not associated with being on a menstrual cycle. Nothing says “you are angry for no good reason” or “I don’t value your feelings/opinion” more than blowing us off with this dismissive question. I am angry because someone did something to piss me off and I need to express said anger. My anger is not always hormonal just as yours is not so give me the benefit of the doubt and assume I am rationally angry until I prove otherwise.

Calm down!- Here’s a secret guys, you know what this question does to women? Makes them less calm! Half the reason is because they probably were initially quite calm just a bit peeved or anxious which you didn’t want to deal with and thus throw out this often misused phrase. We recognize that’s what happened and then get angrier which leads to us being less calm. It’s a vicious cycle. Instead say let the person (us) rant a bit till we tire ourselves out and then talk. Or interrupt with “I hear what you are saying” or “you seem really bothered by this” (yes I am a licensed mediator).

Can we watch this game/fight/match first?- Two answers: Yes, but be prepared for me to fall asleep…angry. No, because I know this game is going to take forever and whatever I wanted to originally do we will miss or be late for or whatever I asked you to do won’t get done which will in turn lead me to be angry which you will then ask “are you on your period” which will make me irate and then you will say “calm down” and you see where this is going? Just DVR it and keep it moving!

Are you ready yet? – NO!!! I’m not. Because if I was ready, I’d say “I’m ready” or I’d be done doing whatever I was in the middle of doing before you came in and asked me that question for probably the fifth time. I realize it might take women twice as long to get ready than guys to go out but if you want us to go out on your arm looking more like Beyonce and less like Ceelie (from The Color Purple), you will allow us the time to beautify and not delay the process by questioning us or telling us you are leaving. We don’t need the pressure and it puts us in a bad mood. Just sit back and watch the game we made you DVR above.

And then there are the regular first meeting questions you don’t ask like- how old are you, how much do you weigh, is that your real hair, how many people you slept with, do you want to get married (don’t talk about something with us that you might not do with us). Hope this helps!

Another 48 hours...

So if you have ever read any of my blogs, you know I am an aspiring writer. I am currently trying to get an agent and build my creative resume. This year has started off pretty well. I got a short piece published in the Maryland Writers Association Pen In Hand quarterly writing magazine.  Then I got asked to join as a writer and actress for the DC 48 hour film project. If you've never heard of this project, check out this link http://www.48hourfilm.com/. If you are an aspiring writer, actor, film maker, this is a great project to join.  They have this competition in every major city all over the world and the top winners get shown at cannes. My team was unlucky enough to get stuck with the musical genre so so cannes for us because its just too hard.

But that didn't deter me from trying out for the Baltimore 48 hour film project in which my team got...musical again! And I was stuck singing again. Le sigh, guess that's life. Anywho I had fun doing this. The one thing to note about this competiton is no matter what genre you get you have to have certain elements in your film. This years element was: a character named Louise Ledbetter who is a busybody neighbor, a dog collar and the line, "if you want me, you know where to find me". I think we did okay.

Here's a trailer of the film. If you get the urge to check out the whole film then go to the screenings in Baltimore. Our screening group is June 13th at 930pm at the Charles Theater, tickets are $9!

I'm not old...am I?

So now that I live in a city (sort of) I no longer have the luxury of driving down the street to the mall. As such I have increased my online shopping, which I find to be a very bad thing for a clothing/shoe/makeup/purse obsessed gal. In my shopping daze I ordered a romper. It was a cute brown halter one, got it from Arden B, a little short but why not I say. Then I thought about it, I'm in my early 30s (there I said it, nothing to be ashamed of), do I now have to be more thoughtful about the things I choose to wear? Can I no longer wear low pigtails, colorful sneakers, mini skirts, glitter make up, pink hair, tattoos, facial piercings, T-shirts with cartoons on them, rompers (the jumpsuits less conservative cousin)? At what point do you need to stop going into Forever 21 and the junior department?

I always thought the fun thing about Forever 21 is that it realized the clothes were young but didn't want you to feel bad about wearing them by instead saying you'll be forever young by wearing them. I figure as long as my butt can fit in it, why not keep wearing it. But say, and wouldn't it be nice, I was the same size as I am now at 60. Should I be strutting down the street in a romper? And would the me 15 years ago who saw someone my age in a romper say that old heifer needs to sit down and put on some elastic mom jeans?

Granted 30s is allegedly the new 20s but still, I think there has a to be a line regarding what is age appropriate. Maybe its the profession (I figure if you are a tattoo artist you can look like anything for as long as you want). Or maybe its if you have kids (does it look right to be wearing your daughters close and having matching blue hair?). Maybe its how you age (if you can pass for younger, does it matter?). Maybe its about how YOU feel and not what anyone else thinks. In that case, me and my 30 something year old butt will proudly strut myself down the street in my romper. Because if I feel good in it, then I'll look good in it and if no one else thinks so... who cares, I'm in my 30s! That's the one good thing about getting older- your confidence grows and you don't need others to validate you!

Get it Right, Get it Tight

So after coming out of a live-in relationship I am dismayed to find that I have gained five pounds. I used to scoff at people who gain weight in relationships. I'd think- how does that happen? What changes in your life to make you just gain weight? People call it the fat and happy syndrome. And somehow I caught it. Again, I am trying to learn from that relationship, particularly how to keep being the best me I can be while still being giving and compromising in a relationship. So what did this girl do to gain weight? Let's see: I didn't workout as much as I used to, I ate heavier meals and later in the day, I drank more and ate out more, I didn't sleep as much. So now I have to figure out how not to fall back into that again. The easiest option is to date someone with healthy eating habits and who works out but the best option is that even if they don't, don't give up your healthy lifestyle or fall for any peer pressure.

With that being said, now I gotta drop this weight in time for my summer beach trip. Running is usually the best way for me but the thought of running makes my heart hurt. And yet I usually feel empowered after I do i. I'd like to be able to run a 5k by the end of the summer. I started today and ran (okay, jog/walked) a little over 3 miles. I started off wrong by going at 9am instead of the 8am I had intended. It was already in the 80s. Midway through I was sure someone was going to have to peel my butt off the sidewalk because jogging mixed with the hot sun baking on your back stealing your life force is not a good mix. I probably should have brought water. But I made it through and then did some weight and toning exercises when I got home with a fruit salad as my breakfast (instead of the waffles I wanted okay, still want). Sadly the scale had not adjusted when I got on it after but this time next week maybe it will! Wish me luck!

I'm Baaaccck!

So yes, I realize I've been gone for way too long. I'll be honest about why, I was in a relationship and dropped the things that were important to me like writing. I won't blame the guy, it was my fault. One thing I learned from coming out of the relationship is that I need to establish time to do the things that make me, well, me! I don't blame the other person. You can't expect someone to force you to keep up the things you liked to do. You make some adjustments and you might do less of certain things but don't give them up. So now I'm back in the writing game. I plan to work on finding an agent for my two finished novels, complete an unfinished novel and work on other creative avenues that come my way and build my writing resume. Time goes way too fast and you just never know if you'll have the chance to get back into the things that make you happy.