Monday, October 3, 2011

Tough Love- Whateva

Just as I was about to go on blogging hiatus, my favorite love to hate show Tough Love is back on. You might know the show where an alleged successful match maker (Steve) tells women how horrible they are in their dating life (you know, the "hopelessly single"). Yes, some of the women are in need of some wake up calls (the superficial, low self esteem, angry) but half the women on the show are what I deemed normal. And to make matters worse the butt wipe match maker puts women in the worse scenarios and bashes them because they didn't handle it well. It's not like every day I enter a room with 30 or more dudes checking me out and taking notes simply on what I'm wearing, my figure, and how I walk across a room. And lets not forget that in episode two the kind hearted turd has men  follow each woman he is interested in, into an elevator where she is supposed to pick the guy she wants to date based on unsuperficial reasons in the matter of seconds it takes for them to get to the roof top deck (rolls eyes).

Oh yeah, did mention this is set in Miami, where if you are over a size 4 you aren't even looked twice at. So yes, the size 0 woman in a dress the length of a shirt gets over 9 guys following her into the elevator and the probably size 8 former beauty queen with body issues only gets 1 guy, who actually says he just came up to her because he felt bad for her. And this is her fault? How is she supposed to feel good about herself if she is surrounded by that kind of superficiality?

When I first watched this show in season one, as a single gal I thought I could learn a few things but all I get out of it now is pure entertainment (and a bit of high blood pressure). Look, I'm all for being the best I can be and showing that best side of me to a potential partner but I don't like the idea of changing who you are to get a man. If you are quirky, stay that way. If you, like me, have a sarcastic sense of humor, keep it. If you aren' a size two, so what, as long as you're healthy. It takes a lot of work to keep up a facade to make someone want to date you and even more to keep it going into a relationship.  It's much more fun to be yourself and the right person will think so too.

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Random Music That Won't Leave My Head

Yep, another music entry. Can't help it, I'm a writer and music inspires me profoundly. These are my most recent downloads that get me to creating, exercising, day dreaming or dancing around my room like I'm on So You Think You Can Dance.

Lykke Li- Follow Rivers- This artist was played a few times on So You Think You Can Dance and although I didn't see the movie Columbiana, the song for it kept getting in my head every time I saw the commercial and I don't mind at all! I also like her song Little Bit which the rapper Drake has also used in one of his songs.

The Black Kids-  I'm Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend How to Dance- So this group is not all black in case you were wondering, just the brother and sister. I love this song because it has an 80s vibe that I adore. When I hear it I want to dance around my room doing the Carlton Dance from the Fresh Prince in Bel air. And they are from my family's hometown of Jacksonville, Florida!

Chonique Sneed- Pop Drop and Roll- I heard this song on So You Think You Can Dance. Maybe it was the all girl routine that got me to like it but I rushed to down load it and when I hear it, it gets me shaking.

Otis Redding- Try A Little Tenderness- Yes, this song is as old as Moses but it's just great. So great that Jay-Z and Kanye made a remix of it. But that's not what got me to like it. Nope. It was the classic Pretty in Pink movie in which the character of Ducky (played by Jon Cryer whom I loved at the time simply for this role) lip sang this song to Molly Ringwold's character when she was feeling down. When I hear this song, it is this scene that I remember. For that reason that is the video I choose to put up.

Any songs, old or new, that just won't leave your head?

Monday, September 5, 2011

My Top Five...

I am a makeup/beauty/magazine junkie. Every now and then I will put up a post that will turn off any male readers and this is one of them, sorry. If you are into fashion/make up then you know September is one of the biggest month's for all things glam and just about every magazine is packed with information to feed my addiction. As such I was inspired to bring up my own mini post on some of my own favorite products. Choosing just five is difficult but in order to keep myself in check I must limit myself. So here are my tried and true beauty products that I will invest in time again!

  1. Miss Jessies Curly Buttercreme: I have naturally curly hair and therefore it is as dry as a dessert. This stuff will make my hair less tumbleweed and more luscious. It's not cheap (surprising since Targets sells it) but its worth my dime every time!
  2. Benefits They're Real: When the Sephora lady told me that this mascara was the best thing out, I had my doubts but I put it on and my lashes looked awesome. Way better than my current Maybeline Falsies. It's pricey (around $21) but worth the investment if you love that false lash look.
  3. Dr. Brandt Pores No More: anything in this line really. I did some major research and every review/advice pointed to this line. I have VERY oily skin and I can't stand it! I put this on and no oily skin messing up my make up or making my skin feel iky. Another pricey affair (about $45) but if you have extremely oily skin sometimes you gotta make that investment.
  4. Bare Escentuals: Again for an oily skined gal, mineral is the way to go. It's not heavy but fully covers and it last a LONG time because the ingridents are more natural so I don't have to toss it as quickly.
  5. Chi Ion flat iorn- I've had mine forever (and I want it to last forever since I dropped a pretty penny for mine well before it got the hype it rightly deserves and other lines started making them for way less). As I stated before, since I have natural, unrelaxed hair, having a chi is literally the best thing since sliced bread for me. When I blow out my hair I looke like Rudi Huxtable but this tames my hair so it looks relaxed and blows in the breeze. Love it!
Any favorite products that are a must for you?

Monday, August 22, 2011

Awkward Interracial Dating?

Just caught the latest episode of my new favorite online show Awkward Black Girl. In this month's episode, our main character goes on her first interracial date and it is indeed awkward. Her friend, an Indian girl, prepares her for the date, including the outfit (a t-shirt and shorts because, per her friend, white guys are more casual). The white guy takes her to a soul food restaurant and spoken word, neither sit right with our girl. The mini episode was cute and humorous but did make me reflect on my own interracial experiences. I am an equal opportunity dater so I've dated just about every race and mix in between. And I have to say...there isn't a great difference. By my late twenties I find that all guys dress pretty well (well, nice for their abilities) for dates (the older the more spiffy!).

Although my first time eating fried chicken and waffles was to a place a white guy took me, it was an upscale joint and diverse place, so no music stopping when we entered the place like on this show (even the black men with white women made faces and her ex said if he'd known she'd date white he wouldn't have broken up with her- I found that sad but not a totally unrealistic occurrence). And although we went to Busboys and Poets after, it wasn't spoken word night but... you know what, maybe this show was right! No, DC, is pretty diverse and we just went there for coffee because it was down the street.

Anyway, I've also done casual outdoor dates with black guys. There simply is no stereotype across the racial lines. Guys are guys, wear some heels and your hair out in some manner (curly or straight) and you're good! As the episode showed, if the pair had just been themselves and taken race out of the equation, they would have had a better time.

Here's the episode if you care to watch...

Watch What You Eat- A Short Story

Been a while since I posted a short story, poem, or snippet. Here's something I'm entering for a submission! Enjoy!

Watch What You Eat
Hunger makes you do dumb things.
I headed to my kitchen and opened the refrigerator door. Nothing. I closed the door in disgust. I frowned and opened my cupboard. It was equally bare. My stomach growled angrily but my eyes suddenly widened as I spotted a can of tuna fish. I grabbed it, opened the lid and dug in with a fork.
I chomped away at the salty fish. It might give me high blood pressure but I quickly gobbled it anyway.
Naturally I choked.
I dropped the tuna can to the floor and coughed repeatedly. I caught a glimpse of a cat trotting into the kitchen. Since when did I have a cat?
Who cares I was dying?!
I laced my hands together and rammed them into my stomach then chest but still no success. Why didn’t I study the Heimlich maneuver?
I dropped to my knees, grabbing at my neck as I saw the cat come closer to me, this time followed by two cats. I fell back to the floor, withering in horror as I choked on the food in my air passage.
I glanced in horror at the cats- five now- descending upon me and then looked over at the offending food. My last thought was that I hadn’t actually eaten tuna fish, at least not the one made for humans, for the image on the can was of a cat’s head; its tongue licking its whiskers.
As the cats walked closer to me, meowing in unison, eyes glowing with hunger; I closed my eyes and died.


Denise held her fork midway to her mouth, a frozen look on her face. “Wow; that’s a seriously sad story, Shiela. Ooh, say that three times fast!”

“Ha-ha. You are not a friend.”“Hey, maybe those dreams mean you need a cat.”

“So she can chow down on my body because I died eating all her cat food?! I hate cats.”
“Maybe the dream was about you feeling unsafe living by yourself. Get a roommate who can account for you so your dead body isn’t stinking up the apartment building.”
“Thanks, Denise, that’s what was bothering me so much. I’ll be dead, screw my neighbors breathing comfort!” I cut into my salmon and realized it smelled like tuna. I put my fork down. “Maybe it means I should stop watching that Animal Hoarders show before bed.”
“Or that.”

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Real Love?

I'm a big fan of Millionare Matchmaker and it always gets my head spinning about relationships and the foolishness that these wealthy clients have about love, I assume simply because they are rich and no one (except Patty) dared question them before.

I wonder:

What does real romance/loving relationship look like and if we had to put it in a movie would we still watch it? And if we wouldn't, how do we manage our expectations about what a good relationship is? And if we were able to manage them would divorce rates go down? Do we, men and women, make poor choices based on a fairy tale notion that no longer exist?

If you are rich or "ridiculously good looking" is the likelihood that you have an unrealistic look on love stronger? Meaning, you often get away with foolishness that leads you to have expectations when entering relationships that the "common" folk just don't have. Does this mean they'll have a harder time finding a lasting relationship or would you think these people will easily find someone hung up on looks or money who will do whatever they want?

I'm often told that as a woman of the new age, especially a black woman, I have to compromise more to get a relationship. However, if we women have to compromise so much will there still be love there? At what point do we compromise too much (on looks, job/goals/education, number of kids the guy already has, whether he has a car/house, is cultured)? Would lowered expectations lead to lowered interest/dependence/standards/lifestyle/treatment?

Just thinking....

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

If He's Crazy He Will Come

Been a while, sorry folks, I just moved, been working on editing some writing of mine (excerpts to come) and getting ready for a big conference. However I had to come back and get on my soap box. What’s grinding my gears now? Apparently my new name is “Likes to Get Stalked By Crazy People”. I’ve had this affliction since I was in college. If there is a crazy person around, usually an indigent, I would attract him. It didn’t matter what I had on. I’ve been in a suit carrying a briefcase and had a dude off the street approach me to flirt. I’ve been out jogging, fully covered except my arms, and was half way home when I realized I was being followed by a homeless man. When I turned around and gave him my best Bmore girl glare, he turned around and walked away. I’ve had crazy men look at me on the subway and not look away just sit there and look at me the whole time.
Lessons I learned: when jogging, periodically always look behind you and keep your music down in your headsets. Always be aware of your surroundings so I am rarely one of those people on the train who is engrossed in my iphone or ereader (not that I have either). I need to know who is around me. It’s not paranoia, its learned behavior from past experiences.

At one point my dad gave me not one but two cans of pepper spray. However I never needed to use them when I moved outside DC in the suburbs. Unfortunately, pepper spray expires after a year so you have to keep getting new ones. I need a defense tool that doesn’t expire, like a baton!

Anywho, I thought my days of attracting the crazies and the ignorant were far behind me but atlas, God must have thought I was getting too lazy in my vigilance because in the past 7 days I have been followed by not one but two crazy people!

The first time, I was heading to a little shop down the street from where I live. I was at a light waiting to cross the street and a scary looking homeless man walked up near me. There was a man in between us and he saw the scary dude checking me out and decides to MOVE out the way! He will get his in the future. Anywho, I quickly cross the street as the scary dude starts walking near me and I go into the shop thinking I lost scary dude. NOPE, he pops up RIGHT BESIDE me asking me what the time was. I tell him the time, he tells me I’m beautiful, I thank him then quickly jet away as the store owner calls out for him to leave me alone (thanks, man).

Second time, I’m on the metro and another crazy dude gets on the car at the far end. He’s making a lot of noise and I start thinking of my exit strategy to another car so I can have a nice peaceful ride. Dude starts walking my way and I think, he couldn’t possibly be aiming for me. Just to make sure, at the next stop, I get off. AND CRAZY DUDE FOLLOWS ME, CLOSELY, ONTO THE NEXT CAR! Seriously! He sits down near me and wants to know why I switched cars. I place my Bmore glare back on and said “because I wanted to” and turn my back on him even though he is still mumbling to me. People are looking at me with pity. He eventually gets off.

My nerves are getting bad now, if I get my baton, I’m thinking the only thing that’s going to happen is I end up in jail for assaulting some innocent dude who was probably running up behind me to hand me some money that fell out my purse but better safe than sorry, so friends, start saving up some bail money!

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Music of My Generation

So I was listening to internet radio at work and got caught up in some of my generations "oldies but goodies" and it got me to thinking:

Why is it that music from your teen years is the most defining? Did we listen to more music then? This would explain why shows like TRL, geared towards teens, was so successful. Once we hit our twenties does our influence in pop culture die because we focus our money and time on other things?

Whatever the reason, I just find that  any music that is played from the time I was 11 through 21 years of age is the music that stirs me the most in ways that music after that or before that time hasn’t been able to do. Not that I don’t have artist now that I love; it’s just different. I get put in a real place in my life when I hear Crystal Water's Gypsy Woman  (and In Living Color's parody of it) or Jade’s Don’t Walk Away Boy (don’t act like you don’t remember them) and me getting braids.  I get excited and start doing the running man when I hear CL Smooth and Pete Rock "They Reminisce Over You"  and I know exactly where I was when I first heard Coldplay's Yellow and the dance my sister and I did to Lost Boyz Jeeps Lex Coups Bimaz and Benz.  And let's not forget how we played out the Goo Dolls Iris song and The Spice Girls Wannabe (heck, that's still a karaoke pick of mine, I wanted to be like Scary Spice- well she was the only black girl and she inspired me to grow my curls out and stop getting a relaxer).

However, I will quickly turn the station now when Lil’ Wayne comes on (his voice just makes my ears bleed or is that the old “fuddy duddy” starting to emerge in me, if so, www.i’ ) and Rhianna and Lady Gaga music won't get me pumped.

I don't know, maybe it’s simply that when we are kids and teens we need soundtracks for our lives more than any other time period. When I hear these songs I don’t just remember the artist and the videos, I remember me.

Thursday, June 30, 2011

Read Between the Lines

So I posted this article I found on facebook but also wanted to do some commenting here. In summary, a mother sends her soon to be daughter in law a rude email about her etiquette and the daughter in law, in shock, forwards it to her friends who, in turn, forward it all. Now the world has seen this email and call the mother in law "momzilla". But, playing the devil's advocate, I'm not so sure I'm totally angry with this woman. First, here is an excert from the email:
from: Carolyn Bourne
to: heidi withers
subject: your lack of manners

Here are a few examples of your lack of manners:

When you are a guest in another's house, you do not declare what you will and will not eat - unless you are positively allergic to something.

You do not remark that you do not have enough food.

You do not start before everyone else.

You do not take additional helpings without being invited to by your host.

When a guest in another's house, you do not lie in bed until late morning in households that rise early - you fall in line with house norms.

You should never ever insult the family you are about to join at any time and most definitely not in public. I gather you passed this off as a joke but the reaction in the pub was one of shock, not laughter.

You regularly draw attention to yourself. Perhaps you should ask yourself why. No one gets married in a castle unless they own it. It is brash, celebrity style behaviour.

I understand your parents are unable to contribute very much towards the cost of your wedding. (There is nothing wrong with that except that convention is such that one might presume they would have saved over the years for their daughters' marriages.)

If this is the case, it would be most ladylike and gracious to lower your sights and have a modest wedding as befits both your incomes.

One could be accused of thinking that Heidi Withers must be patting herself on the back for having caught a most eligible young man. I pity Freddie.

Now, granted some of this stuff was way harsh and she could have told the woman in person instead of via email but as I read some of the points I'm begining to wonder if the mother in law was really mad about everything up here. Would she have let the daughter in law's late rising in the morning slide if she hadn't demanded a wedding in a castle out of everyone's, including her own family's budget? Would the mother in law not care so much that the daughter in law got seconds without being offered if the daughter hadn't bad mouthed her in public?

Looks like some gray lines here and I'm not so inclined to believe this mother in law is a woman from hell. Seems like her new daughter in law might also be a rude one. Really, I pity the groom.

Sunday, June 26, 2011

Romance is Dead ...and It's Our Fault

I remember coming across this Dear Abby question and saved it for later to discuss because the situation the writer presented and Abby's response really struck me. In quick summary (see the full letter and response here), the writer is from another country and is having a hard time dating. The gestures he makes towards the women he dates are seen as too much and they break things off with him. By gestures I'm talking sending flowers to their jobs, buying a book in an area they mention being interested in and telling them he was in love with them after four months of dating. Dear Abby said he needs to slow things down.
Now this kind of bothered me because I find everything he did to be quite appealing in moderation and the only circumstance it wouldn't be is if I wasn't into him. But Abby didn't suggest that, instead she thought he was moving to fast. This just seems odd to me. Moving too fast is getting me a ring after a month of dating or confessing your love after our first date. If a man takes the time to think of things that I would love based on my interest then I'm for it. And I'm still waiting for a guy to send flowers to my job, I don't think it's unprofessional. But is that just me? Or was this guy just going after the wrong girls?

If we think that romance or chivalry is dead, how much do we, women, have a role in that? If you demand a certain treatment, the hope is that you'll get it. But if you don't appriciate something eventually people will stop doing it- kind of like supply and demand.

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Make it Last Forever

Had to repost this because the system lost the original post and didn't save, grrr.

I’m a make up gal through and through and the one product I have been searching for forever is long lasting lipstick. Many brands claim to have them but they always wear off as soon as you take a sip of a drink or make your lips dry and peely (I had one unfortunate experience where I was out with a group of friends and then went to the bathroom to try to exfoliate my lips which were covered in spotty pieces of lipstick that was allegedly long wearing, this was a long process and no one believed me when I told them and instead believed I was doing a number two! Grrr). So as you can see I am seriously searching for a solution because I hate reapplying lipstick. But, alas, I have found some brands that I find suitable, although none have lasted the 8-24 hours they claim, these brands do last a very long time and still leave a lip stain color. It’s really all in how you apply it.

1) Maybelline 24 Hour Super Stay- This is my favorite. It doesn’t last 24 hours but color in some degree will remain on your lips. Here’s the key, put on the color side first and then wait until it dries then put on the balm side. You can reapply the balm side as much as you want which helps keep the color strong and keep lips moisturized. But even if you don’t lips aren’t crackly dry and you still keep some color.

2) Clinique Longwear- simple long wearing lipstick, looks more like a stain by the end of the day

3) Loreal Infallible- same as Clinique but cheaper. The colors are creamy and not drying or peeling and last most of the day to some degree.

4) MAC Pro Longwear- same as Maybelline but comes in more "glammy colors"


Wednesday, June 15, 2011

I am not Wonder Woman

And she is the only person who needs to be in an invisible plane.

This plane is supposed to be out in the year 2050. Now I'm not a proponent of drug use but that's pretty
much what I'd  be on if you find me riding this thing 40 years from now.

If you want to get back at someone afraid to fly take them on this.

I could maybe be talked into a quick 1.5 hour flight but if you are talking overseas forget it. I don't like to think I'm on a plane as it is, there's no escaping it on this thing.

Let's file this under things to do when you're high, blackmailed, bribed, kidnapped, or near death.

White Teeth- My review

I am an avid reader so sometimes I'll post a book review from time to time. Here's one I posted on Goodreads that I'd like to share.

White TeethWhite Teeth by Zadie Smith

My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Finally finished reading this. It was tough for me. Smith is a good wordsmith and I believe she created some original and most importantly real characters (not everyone is gorgeous or thin and the drama they encounter is not foriegn to the average person). Perhaps this is what actually was a turnoff to me. I just found the characters so boringly real. And this is a personal thing, afterall I love scifi, fantasy and chick lit so I like to get away from how the real world goes. After all, why read about it when you can live it?

I suppose I'd have appriciated this novel more when I was in college and reading heavily writers from around the globe, especially in my classes dealing race relations. However, although this novel would fall into a culture/race type realm, it doesn't present itself like that on purpose, which I liked.

I think for me, it just was a bit longer than it needed to be. There were some pages that were so randomly unnecessary. Dialouge and background information that I just didn't see as helping the movement of the novel and I found myself skimming over it.

I like to be swept away from a novel and I just found myself counting down the pages until I was done.

I felt bad because this book has won so many awards and therefore, I should love it too but this just didn't do it for me and I can't fake it.

Update: upon reading over reader reviews I am glad to know I'm not alone. I would like to see the movie version though, just out of curiousity. Netflix!

View all my reviews

Sunday, June 12, 2011

I Want to Be a Billionaire

So freakin bad! I just had to put my car in the shop for a minor finder bender. This is the second time my car has gone to the auto repair this year. My driving skills, particularly parking, are less than desirable (no worries folks, you are safe on the road with me but if you park your car be afraid, be very afraid). And it’s not just me, other people gravitate towards doing damage to my car. I’ve had my windows smashed two or three times. I’ve had my driver’s side mirror destroyed. I’ve been rear ended. I’ve had branches scrape up my car and let’s not get into what I did to it trying to remove snow (lesson learned: do not use a shovel!).

So all that got me to thinking, I need to be rich so I can hire a driver because I’m pretty much over the whole experience.

This in turn got me to also thinking, hmm, what else would I do if I was rich? Here are some thoughts:

· Pay off every piece of debt I have. I’m talking to you law degree. I refuse to have gray in my hair by the time I’m done paying you off!

· Hire a chef. I cook because I have to but could take a pass on it altogether and since I should be eating healthy a good chef could make those veggies taste good.

· A personal trainer. I should add in also the time to see this trainer. When I have kids one day, I want my body to bounce back like Halle Berry’s so I need someone to help me out and the time to do those two hour workouts every day.

· Start a charter school. Particularly I want middle class kids to have access to a good education. The middle class is the forgotten group. They make too much to qualify for the charter schools for the underprivileged but too little to afford the education costs of good private schools.

· Travel to every continent (except Antarctica) in style. I want to do safaris, shop in high end places, stay at luxury hotels and fly first class!

· Keep regular high end salon and spa appointments- because the rich should look fabulous!

· Give to every charity that tugs at my heart, even those darn ones with the sad looking dogs in their commercials.

· Produce and write quality programming/movies that stars people of color in a positive light.

What would you do?

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Misadventures in Italy: The Final Chapter

Day Six: Chonk Chong

Was a busy day, we went to the picturesque and medieval San Gimignano in the Tuscan countryside. If you go, check out the gelato and the Museum of Torture (wicked). We then headed over to a Tuscan winery for a tour and wine and olive oil tasting. Not the best but still an experience. We went out again our last night but didn’t have as much fun. We are the dancing type of girls, not the sit and be seen kind. I want to sip a drink and do a two step or engage in conversation preferably with the opposite sex. We were out on a Wednesday but the places we hit up (Lockness Lounge, Moyo) were all packed. I did encounter the cutie from the previous night but he didn’t stick around too long with me (maybe he was a bit peeved I didn’t call him like he asked?).
Day Seven: Chonk (getting tired)

Was the longest day ever. We were on and off the coach all day. In Italy bus drivers can only drive for 2 ½ hours and then they must get a mandatory break. We hit Pisa and tried to take some creative shots in front of the tower but failed miserably (okay it was hot and we were tired). Then we went to Verona where the real Romeo and Juliet inspiration supposedly came to Shakespeare. Whatever, I could have taken a pass. By the time we got to Venice it was 10 at night. And wouldn’t you know Contiki had the nerve to put us in the suburbs of Venice with no access to nightlife. You had to take a pilgrimage to get to the main islands like San Marco. I mean seriously, I could get to D.C. from Baltimore (assuming no traffic) in less time. Where’s the fun in that? The hotels were a bit better, although no TV stations were in English. You just don’t do young people like that.

Day Eight: Chonk

We traveled to San Marco island in Venice which I loved. We shopped (I bought some Italian leather sandals, so cute! And several Murano glass pieces, what Venice is known for). We also took a gondola ride which was really nice and involved several boats of Asian tourist taking pictures of us. I’d like to believe it was because they thought we were an up and coming girl group but I really suspect it was because they had never seen black people in “real life” and wanted to capture the moment. They were very friendly about it, smiled and waved. We posed for our paparazzi and waved back, what can ya do?

All in all it was a long and tiring day which involved us telling African vendors selling crap to leave us alone. It was incessant. I even saw some of them block the path or grab some tourists by the arm who obviously hadn’t rocked the New York/Baltimore “mean mug” so they wouldn’t bother them. My sister went off on one of them. I was really praying it wasn’t going to be some international black on black crime but he walked away after he dropped the F bomb on her.

Day Nine: Chonk

Back to Rome with the second longest trek ever (and with Contiki kindly NOT booking our extra night like it did ALL the rest of the travelers who had a post stay, we had to book our own hotel and get our own transport to the hotel – i.e. drag our luggage SEVERAL blocks to the taxi stand in which my taxi group paid 10 euros more than others did to get to the same place- seriously think a storm cloud is over my head sometimes). We attempted to grab an early dinner/late lunch but apparently the Italians do not believe in the senior citizen meal time because none of them served dinner until around 630/7pm. So we passed time by going window shopping around Via del Corso. We had our last meal at a lovely outdoor lounge. I still remember that meal *thoughts trailing off*

Okay so we couldn’t leave Rome without trying the night life. But only three of the six had the energy to get out so we got dolled up and hit the town. We caught a cab to a place called La Masion which we heard was good. First thing we noticed, it was down an alley off of another (yet busier) alley. Now most of the cities in Italy seem to have alleys with lots of shops and they will stick a shop in any space they can find (we saw one store literally the size of a bathroom stall) so that didn’t deter us. What did was the swastika spray painted on a wall of the alley. Another sign you aren’t in the U.S. If someone spray painted a sign of hate near your establishment you’d rush to get it off but in a city where diversity isn’t as prevalent and you were actually allied with Nazi Germany, well maybe that just isn’t number one on your mind.

So the place did not look busy and we decided it’d be best to move on. We had drinks at a cute bar called Anima and then headed over to another equally as cute spot called Fluid. We met some more cute Italians and engaged in meaningless conversation the rest of the night. They wanted to take us dancing afterwards but alas, we only had enough euros for a cab ride home. No problem, they said they could drive us. Again, not trying to end up on the strobe doped up on heroine so we declined and parted ways. Still had fun.

But the fun was over. On day ten we flew back to BWI airport. The flight was ridiculously long and to top it off my luggage decided it did not want to come back with me and it was another 12 hours after landing before I saw it again- again US Airways, you suck as per usual.

But I made it back to tell the tale and I hope it inspires you to check out that fabulous place called Italy…just go with another airline… and another tour group.

Sunday, June 5, 2011

Misadventures in Italy Part Three

Days Three and Four: Clonk Clong

Note to all considering taking a tour group: Sleep will be little. Each day began with me waking up around 630am in order to make the tour/bus for the day’s activity. Having to drag a huge suitcase several blocks to a tour bus every other day, not so much fun. I had to take a vacation from my vacation!

So we went to see the Roman Colosseum which was cool but we decided at this point not to roll with Contiki anymore unless we had to so we left the tour group after that and then shopped at the Porta Portese flea market. Now if you are a shopper like me then this is a must to hit up. Great place to buy purses, scarves, jewelry, shoes and clothes. Remember to bargain! I am still angry that I bought a purse for 18 euros then walked a little further and found a similar purse for 7 euros. Lesson learned: good things come to those who wait!

That evening we went for pizza (yes again, don’t judge) courtesy of the Contiki package and I got serenaded by the wonderful Italian singer working there (Okay, I’m not special, some of my friends were serenaded too).

The next day we hit the Vatican City, it was just okay for me. I’m not Catholic or a history buff and after a two and a half hour tour, seeing the Sistine Chapel just didn’t hit me as profound. I just wanted to sit down somewhere.

We then traveled on to Florence where we were met with the same less than pleasant accommodations, however at least we didn’t have to hold the shower nozzle! We went for dinner where I had spaghetti with marinara sauce (not a red meat eater) which was still rather tasty. Then we went for karaoke which I love to do in DC so of course I had to try it out in another country at the Red Garter. Had a great time! Then we hit up a bar and some girls in the Contiki group wanted to go dancing so the tour guide took us to a club he heard would be good. My friends took a look around at the crowd and said, no thanks. Looked a little Jersey Shoreish (who incidentally were also filming while we were there). And no we did not see the Jersey Shore cast although some in our tour group did party with them (I’m not hatin though, okay I was bummed. Instead of taking us to a cool bar like he did these other tour group members, our guide sent us to a seedy club!)

Day Five: Chonk Chong (yes I will keep doing this)

We bought ourselves some real Italian leather. I got a nice tan purse which was stained by the blue US Airways blanket I sat it on. Did I tell you how I hate US Airways? I’m still trying to get those stains out but it’s a losing battle. Sigh.

We meant to do some real sightseeing (we did see some buildings) but the famous art galleries were booked. Booked! Who heard of that? Oh well, just a good reason to hit up Florence again (although, side note, you’d think Contiki would have booked one of the galleries for us like they did the Vatican Museum…). Oh and by the way, I guess someone spoke to the guide because this time he did wait for folks and no one got left behind after the first day.

So we did more shopping in the markets, and departments (like Coin and OVS industry) and checked out Ponte Vecchio (great place to by gold), then we were off to a dressy Tuscan dinner. I had the cutest one shoulder strapped dress and got called Shakira by a guy on the street. See profile picture, granted I straightened my hair and got blondish highlights but I look nothing like her (although she’s cute). Did folks just draw a blank on cute brown skinned women?

Anywho, after dinner we kept the party going and headed to a spot called Zoe where we encountered a group of Italian cuties who we engaged in delightful conversation with the rest of the night. Now this is what I came for, haha! One of the cuties gave me his card and wanted to meet up again the next night but I didn’t call him. I didn’t see the point, not a long distance kind of girl and like the Kelly Clarkson song, I Do Not Hook Up.

On a different note, with six women, I suggested we use the buddy method so no one ends up alone. That didn’t always work. My sister who was supposed to be my buddy kindly (kindly because she did say “excuse me”) shoved me out of the way at the end of the night to get into the first taxi that came for us. Did she get out when she found that I could not get in the first taxi? No, she went on her way! Grumble Grumble.

Luckily one of the cuties was a cab driver and drove me and the other two ladies left behind (for free) to our hotel in his taxi. It was a licensed cab and he had his taxi license information. Seriously I cannot afford to get Got, my father, unlike Liam Neeson’s character in Taken, does not have a special set of skills to get me back!

Next up, the conclusion of my trip.

Friday, June 3, 2011

Misadventures in Italy Part Two

Day Two: Chonk Chong (as you will recall that is my Law and Order sound)

I make it in Rome in one piece and without further aggravation. This was actually the first time I was not pulled to the side and given extra questioning or pat downs due to my traveling while being black. Don’t be surprised folks, before 9/11 black women were the number one group to be profiled in airports (because apparently we don’t travel for pleasure or business but to be drug mules for our boyfriends).

So we stayed at a 2 star hotel (American translation means 1 star hotel). Yes, I understand in other countries with more history a lot of the hotels in the city areas are really old and therefore lose space when they try to update their facilities with things like bathrooms and more than one full sized bed in a room but it was still a bit of a shock and a learning lesson. We also had to turn in the key (not card) with a key chain the weight of a boulder to the front desk every time we left the building. Type A Cosmo girl will do no less than a 3, and preferably 4, star hotel for the future. Having to hold the shower nozzle was a bit of a challenge and made me yearn for the days of college dorm bathrooms. And three women to a hotel room is not desirable. Gotta like the gals you’re with and don’t mind getting flashed a few times!

Anywho, friends and I walked a bit of the Roman streets and were greeted with confidence boosting catcalls. My favorite was a guy who called out the window to us “Spettacolare!” (aka Spectacular) (four black women, take that Psych Today!). Our hotel was in the more diverse area because I passed by two! Black hair salons and a black beauty shop.

Now quick backdrop on my limited knowledge of race relations in Italy. It’s not yet a melting pot but it’s getting there, whether folks are happy with it or not. I encountered loads of Africans and Asians (mostly Chinese and Indian/Middle Eastern). Many aren’t too happy with the Africans there due to the constant and pushy nature of vendors selling goods on the street. Get this: it’s not illegal to sell knockoffs on the street but it is illegal (huge fine) to buy them. Translation: we just want to fine the unknowledgeable tourist so we can get some money for our government. Anywho, the diversity was a welcomed surprise yet Italians could tell the difference between the local African Immigrants and tourists of the African diaspora.

Oddly, but often enough, whenever I travel overseas locals never assume I am African American. I (and my friends) have been considered everything from Puerto Rican, Panamanian, Canadian, British and African but never American. Even the cleaning lady for our hotel in Florence who was African herself thought my friend and I were Brazilian. What’s the deal? Who spread the false rumor that Black American women don’t travel? I’ll just put the blame on BET.

Okay, so next we did our TWO hour orientation/check in with Contiki (so unnecessary as we did the check ins on line and if they gave out itineraries, like professionals, things would be so much more smooth and time efficient). Our first stop with Contiki (who I will never recommend even to my worse enemy, well perhaps them, but just them) was a walking tour of some of Italy to see the Pantheon, Trevei Fountain, Spanish Steps. Sure wish I got to see them cause I got left behind. The tour guide did not explain that following him would be like an episode of the Amazing Race. By the end of the tour only 10 people (out of 55) were still with him. Note to Contiki, you have failed if you lose over 75% of your tour group!

But my loyal sister stayed behind with me and we had a fabulous time on our own. I began my two pound weight gain with pizza (the yummy memories still haunt me), pistachio gelato and wine of course. Always wine…(up next, shopping and Florence and boys, oh my)

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Black Women Are Ugly?

(my misadventures in Italy will be continued but I had to comment on this first)

We were enslaved, raped, had families ripped apart, struggled for success, have a low chance of getting married, now we’re ugly? Well that’s the case according to my new arch enemy Psychology Today and their pseudo study regarding why black women are less attractive than women of other races.

I am angered by the audacity of the piece and the magazine for validating it by publishing it (seriously I am breaking a sweat trying to find a publisher but you can print this crap?). I have to ask myself why the writer felt the need to even study this topic but the question doesn’t remain unanswered long.

Somewhere the Black is Beautiful idea fell to the way side when it came to women (note: the alleged study says black men are the most attractive race of males but uses stereotypes to support this).  Our media (movies, music videos, TV, magazines, modeling industry) kicked us to the background in support of a repeated pattern of light (mixed, Latina, white), long, straight haired women.

Lucky for me I grew up right before this movement took hold but by the time I graduated college, if you were a hippy, dark skinned girl with kinky hair you were hard pressed to find anyone shouting your beauty besides other women trying to uplift each other.

And the swarm of black male actors dressing as black women didn’t help that image either. Especially when these women were all obese, ghetto and unattractive.  I mean when men dressed as white women in the movies at least their characters tried to look cute (from Some Like it Hot to White Chicks).

And when you see a swarm of black men, especially those with money/fame/success, go for white women and then learn the rate of black women getting married is only 40% no wonder some idiot decided to take notice and comment about it. With such negative images of black women about of course there must be something to it!

It’s not really about our looks but the way we are looked at! America, not just black women, has a problem with obesity (and Hispanics rank as the number one obese group). So it’s not just the weight. It’s the battle we have with trying to fit an image that is not intended for us to fit. And yes, I could encourage black women to take off the weaves, and in other countries stop bleaching their skin but that won’t solve the problem.
Black Girls Rock, yes but we have got to get some buy in from others. On a purely superficial stance how can you say that we are less attractive? We have some great beauties of color from Naomi Campbell to Lela Kibede, Gabrielle Union, Kerry Washington, Tyra Banks, Nia Long, Sanna Latham, Keri Hilson, Beyonce, Iman, Dianne Carroll, Stacey Dash, Megan Goode (heck even those reality show women are cute).  Seriously?

I’ve had men of other races (at least three times I can remember) literally tell me that they usually aren’t attracted to black women but that I’m an exception. Are you kidding me? The reality is you are attracted to black women but you just haven’t encountered many in your day to day that you find attractive. I’ve seen a cute guy of every race so I never rule out a group no matter how rare it is that I see them. The fact that men feel comfortable even saying that to me is the problem I have with this article all together.

When did it become okay to dehumanize black women? Who said our feelings don’t get hurt and why doesn’t anyone care but us?

If you’d like to sign the petition against Psychology Today to issue an apology please click this link.

Thursday, May 26, 2011

The Misadventures of a Globetrotting Type A Cosmo Girl Part One

So I’ve been gone for a minute but I’ve got good reason, I was in Italy and far away from internet. Okay, Italy has internet but, sorry folks, I had to be out and about rather than in some cafĂ© clacking away at a keyboard. I didn’t use internet or phone while gone and you know what, I didn’t miss it. Not even my TV (although you can bet I spent about two days catching up on my DVR’d programs when I got back, I wasn’t missing the Smallville or Oprah series finales for no one!).

Anywho, here’s the breakdown of my trip: I went to Italy via US Airways on a Contiki tour to see Rome, Vatican City, Florence, San Gimingnano, Pisa, Verona and Venice (and back to Rome) in that order.

Day One (Clonk Clong… that’s the Law and Order sound, trust me it’s needed):

Departure (also titled Why I Will NEVER Fly US Airways Again, tell your mother, tell your sister, tell your brother, father… because all I really know is that they don’t really care about us (song in the key of the Michael Jackson song).

Why? Well there’s a reason why US Airways was ranked DEAD LAST by customers as far as airlines.
So we get to the airport and are told that our flight to Charlotte, NC is delayed and we may miss the flight there that will take us to Rome. Instead the US airways agent tells us to take a cab (on their dime of course) to Philadelphia to catch a similar flight straight to Rome. Now we are about an hour and a ½ from Philly and the flight is in a little over 3 hours but we figure if they are telling us to go we should listen. They’ll look out for us because why would an airline lie?

We call US Airways while in route and let them know of the situation so they can have things ready for us (ie a new ticket, maybe an escort to skip lines since we’re running late). We get there, nothing done and no one knew to expect us. Thanks, BWI airport! The lady at check in has a nasty attitude and complains that “they do this all the time” but she is not getting us on this flight. If I wasn’t afraid of jail I would have set it off in there! The agents were less than sympathetic with one bamma stating that we have to make a decision whether we are going to accept another flight that will get us there half a day later but it doesn’t really matter to him because he gets off in half an hour. (Seriously I’ve seen OZ and Locked Up, I cannot choke the ignorance out of this man no matter how tempting).

But luckily we were with another flight goer who happened to work in an airport and after much arguing and loud talking got us on our intended flight, which boys and girls, took off two hours late! So I sweated out my straightened hair (no relaxer) running like a track star through security for no good reason. And wouldn’t you know that I was unable to get my chi iron to work the whole time I was in Italy so the roots were real shakey!

Anywho we made it on the plane in whatever left over seats we could get. Mine was next to a very pleasant older Italian lady who, let’s say spilled over into my seat so comfort would not be in store for me on this eight hour flight. But you know what, after all we went through, I wouldn’t care if they put me in cargo (okay, no that’s not true, I’d have raised some hell and a half). I practiced some Italian with her and watched in avid curiosity as she ate not only her whole in-flight dinner but her husband’s (who we dubbed the Feeder). I thought perhaps she had a problem and needed to eat that much and was wondering if I should offer her my food.

However, I was on my way to Italy. Excitement awaits! First stop, Rome! To be continued!

Monday, May 9, 2011

I Gotta Go...

May 9, 2011

I am always moving. This is one reason, of many, I can’t buy property just yet. I get irked by something and have to jet. I’ve yet to find that place that I want to stay for a couple of years. I liked a high rise I lived in Baltimore in their arts district a few years back but then my former roommate (Grr, you know who you are) had to move out and silly me thought I couldn’t afford it on my own (which I later discovered I could especially after getting a raise at work). Anywho I’ve jumped from place to place in the last 3 or 4 years and I am tired! But atlas, my journey is not over and I must bounce yet again.
Now my reasons are good, namely, because I live below a person with a dog and I firmly believe that unless the apartment walls and floors are made of concrete no one should have to live under a dog. Every time I see that dog I want to kick it (and someone will have to watch me because I just might when I’m moving out). I used to kind of like dogs until I moved here.

I’m also moving because the commute to work is long. I got a new job and my old commute which was okay has now become annoying. A 1 hour or more each way commute is just not for me. I can do 40-45 minutes tops. Call it psychological but that 15 minutes makes a difference to me.
My final reason is my neighborhood. I want to be within walking distance to nice shops and restaurants and I like a sense of class in my surroundings. I like to take long walks in my neighborhood and not be honked at by cars (including buses!), have men pull up to me in their cars like I’m a street prostitute (okay, come on women can walk the streets without being street walkers especially b/c I’m wearing workout gear!), be glared at by unfriendly faces for reasons unknown (exercising while black, haters, whatever) or see the following odd sights:

Man with kid in shopping cart with no groceries, going away from the grocery store

Man in overalls with no shirt and a top hat taking pictures

Mexican food truck (it’s too hot for all that , where is the ice cream man?)

Cat’s everywhere. I see them on the roof of the apartments, coming out from under cars and gutters, jumping out of bushes. Whose cats are these, why are they roaming free? Unless they are going to kill the impending stink bug invasion, somebody needs to round these felines up and take them somewhere!

So, yes I’ve got to move, I will be notifying my leasing office that I won’t renew. Sorry but I’m heading to new places and hopefully, I can stay put there for a couple of years until I buy. Here’s to hoping I find a place that’s not noisy, is bug free, not ghetto, near shops, and won’t make me apartment poor! A gal can dream can't she

P.S. I'm going to be offline for a couple of weeks but when I get back I'll have lots to share and will tell you all about it.

picture from

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Music I Catch In Commercials

May 5, 2011

As a writer music always inspires me as I've posted before. I get scenes in my head for my novels just by hearing a song or it puts me in a mellow mood to focus on my writing.

Here are a few songs I've caught in commercials that I really like out right now.

Rock Mafia (The Big Bang) (heard in Mob Wives intro)

Aloe Blacc- (I Need Dollars) (heard in Boost Mobile Commercials)

Florence and The Machines  (heard in the Water for Elephants movie promo)

Any commerical/TV show songs that you like? Look out for an all time favorites posting!

Sunday, May 1, 2011

We Look Too

May 1, 2011

A friend recently sent an email out taking an informal survey regarding whether women could determine if someone is attractive simply by looking at them. I’ve heard time and again (and may have said this myself) that women can’t determine whether a man is attractive just by looking. That we need to know them a bit first. This is not totally true. See , I think women can clearly look at a picture of a Flava Flav and say, hmm, not for me. Or a picture of a Laz Alonso or a Bradley Cooper and say- that there is a hot man. What we can’t say (well not all of us) is “I want to get with that man”.

For most women we need to get a sense of their personality (even if fictional) or see them in action to get an idea of whether we are attracted to them. This is why so many “okay” looking musicians, comedians, athletes and politicians get a lot more attention from women than their physical attributes would predict. Women place looks in contexts. Hardly anybody was saying Robert Pattison was hot when he was in Harry Potter but all of sudden he’s hot because of Twilight? I’m not into him at all but I thought he looked more attractive in the Potter movie and even his new movie Water for Elephants (and he wasn’t pale and sparkly, seriously a sparkly man is hot?) The thing is, vampires are apparently hot and therefore, Robert Pattison as a vampire is hot.

Context, get it?

Teen girls hang pictures of the Jonas Brothers or Justin Bieber on their walls because the boys are allegedly cute celebrities whom they have seen in action (say in an MTV music video). Teen boys might hang a picture of a video vixen or play mate they just saw in a male magazine simply on the hotness factor alone. Not to say it’s impossible for a girl to put up a picture of a hot unknown guy on their bedroom wall but if she’s daydreaming about a guy, it’s someone she knows or has seen in action (acting, singing, playing a sport) not Mr. February in last month’s issue of Cosmo magazine.

I suspect that a man can look at a woman and say “I’m attracted to her, I want to get with that” and not know a darn thing about her (it’s the basis of how many movies?). This is why I've heard guys say women who are stuck up or mean can get a lot of guys to put up with their drama even at the early stages of dating if they are hot enough. Whereas a woman won’t put up with that crap even if he’s hot (but she might if she was desperate for a man or wanted his status/money).

Now I know many a guy just wants us to admit that looks matter to us just like it does to men and it does, but not to the same degree. Our make-up isn’t programmed like that and it makes sense. Historically, men wanted a pretty face to help take their minds off the world’s troubles and women wanted a provider to make them comfortable so that they had time to keep themselves looking good to help said men take their minds off the world’s troubles. Now as the gender roles are changing, I think looks are becoming more of a focus with women but still not as much as men think because the desire for marriage and love overpowers the pettiness of wanting a man with a chiseled body. But the key remains that women still want someone they are physically attracted to. I just think women have different standards of what’s attractive based on other influences than what the eye sees alone.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Hairstyles I Wish Would Go Away Never To Return

April 26, 2011

Admittedly this list is short but the fact I have to even post it is enough! I shouldn't still be seeing these hairstyles but atlas they keep rearing their ugly heads! Grr

Gelled Fingerwaves- this was a popular hairstyle in the early to mid 90s (and before then in the 20s but in a much less gelled fashion) but almost twenty years later I am still seeing women rock this do. No, I refuse to believe it is making a comeback until I start seeing Rhianna, Beyonce or MJB sporting it. Till then stop it! Soft waves-yes, hard gelled waves- NO!

Jeri curl- this should never have been popular in the first place. It’s a chemical so it wasn’t healthy for the hair and you got jeri curl juice everywhere (who doesn’t remember the scene in Coming to America). I seriously can’t imagine anyone still rocking this do but the fact that the products are still sold in stores leads me to believe otherwise…

Bowl cuts- an unfortunate cut from the 70s (if you were a child). Unless you are playing the serial killer in No Country for Old Men, I don’t want to see it. I know some models were bringing it back but it’s not cute! R.I.P. darnet!

Braids with beads in them- especially if you are an adult. Knock it off. Let it stay in the 70s and 80s where it was tragically popular. And while you’re at it take bantu knots and those old school Janet Jackson braids with you. I’ve seen too many folks today wearing them. Not cure.
Fade- Why, am i seeing young guys with this hairstyle? Leave it in the 90s where it was acceptable. It’s just not flattering, spread the word! Even Steve Harvey dropped the fade (finally!) I need more time before I see this style again!

Asymmetrical cuts– lets stop this. Having a gorgeous cut on one side and some foolishness on the other side is not attractive. You do realize Pepa of Salt and Pepa who started this trend only did it after getting her hair burned off so it’s not a hair style of choice…

Old man Afro- unless you are a Fredrick Douglas impersonator I am really confused about why you think this is nice looking. And this goes to you too women! Looking like Florida Evans from Goodtimes should not be your goal. Just stop it!

Okay that’s all my blood pressure will allow me to write. Any other hairstyles that should be dropped kicked back to the past?

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Make Me Over

April 24, 2011

Every once and awhile I will ostracize the male readers and focus on the girlie side of life. I am a make up gal to the heart. I’ve been wearing make-up since I was 13 and while I didn’t go all cover girl immediately, I’ve learned a thing or two in the time since. So thought I’d share on some of my findings. This way you can avoid my mistakes and save some dough! Each one teach one and all that!

This month's focus: mascara.

If there is only one makeup product I could take with me on a deserted island it would be mascara. It’s an instant eye opener with or without eye shadow and liner. Anytime I see a new mascara advertised I rush to buy it. I think I may have a problem… Here are my takes on few out now


• Cover Girl Lash Fusion- A mascara that volumizes and lengthens?! I’m all over it! And I have to say I like it, I like it alot. I can wear it to work or add a few more coats and go out on the town in it at night.

• Loreal Voluminous Million Lashes – It’s advertised as a mascara that will make your eye lashes thick and pretty. And it does, except with that volume comes flaking and this girl hates a flake! No one wants to step out thinking they are glamorous and then look in the bathroom mirror and find a bunch of black crap under their eyes. For that reason, I can’t recommend this.

• Maybelline Falsies- This is supposed to give your lashes the look of eye popping false lashes without actually having to go through the pain of getting false lashes. And while I think that the claim is exaggerated, this is my all time favorite night time mascara so far. I particularly love the Black Drama version. My eyes instantly pop and the lashes do look glam. I’ve also been complimented with it on. Sold!

• Maybelline Great Lash - This classic always works for me. Great for work or night life. It’s always ranked highly in magazine reader’s polls and sometimes, if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

• Cover Girl Eyelights- This is supposed to make your eyes look brighter. I don’t know how but it didn’t work for this brown eyed girl. On to the next one!

• Rimmel Max Volume Flash- This brand from London is pretty good. The Cosmo girl that I am loves the one in Black. Brings a pop to the eyes!

• Maybelline Stilettos- if you can’t tell, I’m a Maybelline gal. Of all the drugstore makeup brands this is my favorite. Stilettos is great for night or day and the volumizer one is as good as the Covergirl Fusion.

• Maybelline One by One- Now I’ll praise Maybelline but I’m not a blind follower. I actually don’t like this one. It’s supposed to really coat each lash for volume. But I was underwhelmed by the outcome. I kept putting more and more on for an effect but that was just a sign that this is not the one for me.


• Clinique Lash Doubling Mascara- You thought I hated on department store brands? Nope. I actually love Clinique skin care line (to discuss in another post) and tried this mascara as a free gift. This is a good day to night one as well and doesn’t clump or flake.

• Mascara with glitter(sometimes called diamonds) or color- I don’t like them of any brand. It gets messy and just looks like you have a crumb in your eyelashes. I find it annoying…

If there are any mascara brands you want to share. Be an enabler and fill me in!

Thursday, April 21, 2011

This is a Man's World...When it Comes to Dating

April 22, 2011

I’ve come to the conclusion that when it comes to relationships it is much easier to find a woman who wants to be in a relationship/marriage than it is to find a man who wants the same. Except in shows like How I Met Your Mother, you rarely find a fairly attractive, successful guy running desperately around the city trying to find the love of his life. However women have had books, plays and TV shows around this notion since at least the time of Jane Austin. I firmly believe that if a guy woke up one morning and decided that he was ready to be in a committed relationship it would not take him as long to encounter Ms. Right (or at least Ms. Seemingly Right) as it would for a woman.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying a man thinks it and so shall it be done. Monday if he says “Gee, I’d like to be in a loving relationship” it’s probably not going to happen by the end of the week. Maybe not in a few months but it’ll happen before big time frustration hits him. And he doesn’t have to change who he is, like society suggest women should, to make a relationship happen either. If a guy meets a girl, and he desperately wants to settle down, he will start from first date to do what he has to do to make it a relationship leading to marriage. If a guy wants it, it will come.

For women, the big lottery hope is that if you are a woman bent on being in a relationship, the easiest and best scenario is to meet a guy who is really wanting that too. A woman can cook, keep in shape and do all she needs to “secure” a relationship, but if she’s not with the guy mentioned in the previous paragraph she may have a battle on her hands to reach monogomy. Since most men don't grow up playing pretend wedding the odds are against women that they are going to reach marriage at the time they thought they would and have to "manage expectations".

And since society puts it on the man to make the decision when or if the two get married or become monogamous (via the proposal or the talk about the status of the relationship), we are left with even less control unless we buck tradition but that's a strong hit or miss and for me not perferable, I want the whole on the knees ring please!

Now the reasons for this current state of affairs are many (urbanization, media, Playboy) and can be discussed at another time. But I will say this, we women should not have to bend over backwards in hopes that a guy will choose us if he is not doing the same for us (life is not a full time episode of The Bachelor). Men may hold more power but if they want a quality woman that doesn’t mean they can be lazy either because women still have the power to say no.