Quick P.S.A. to Men on Online Dating

I'm not ashamed to admit that I've tried the online dating thing...a few times. I've visited many a site and talked to many a friend and after a spirited discussion with some gal pals recently I thought I'd do a post (which I'm sure will have some follow ups) on things I wish men wouldn't do in the realm of online dating.

For this post I will focus on my top three. Some are, admittedly, superficial and I will own up to it.

1) Wearing hats in all your pictures. A couple pics here and there are fine but if all your pics are with hats on (especially baseball caps) then I don't know what I'm getting into.  I once went out with a guy who always wore a baseball cap. He even wore it when we went out to dinner. This was getting ridiculous. Well eventually, I asked him in my Brad Pitt from Seven "What's in the box?" voice.

I just had to know. So he took off the hat...and he looked like George Jefferson. Sigh, it's unfortunate that he had premature balding and I sympathize with that. But holding on to that rim of hair did nothing for him. He wasn't even thirty. Why look like you were ready to move to that "deluxe apartment in the sky?". Just "let it goooo, let it gooo" and sport the bald head. Needless to say, after that,  I always wonder when I see a guy with only pics of him in a hat. (same goes to pics of a guy only wearing sunglasses, no shade to cock eyes, but...well, I don't like surprises)

2) Going ghost. Online dating has made us the laziest people in the world. I just finished reading Pride and Prejudice (and Zombies, I have to take some gore with my silly romance) and it reminded me all the more how we just don't try anymore. Always looking for that "bigger better deal" and not caring how we come across. But one thing I really hate is when you go on a date or two with a guy, chemistry is full on, sweet words/flirts are shared and then...you don't hear from them again. My friend theorized that they must all go to an island. We wonder if it's fun there.

But look-a-here (yeah you know I'm about to make a point when I get southern), don't come back like nothing happened. If you got side tracked because you were dating a bunch of women like you were on The Bachelor and then had to make a decision to narrow it down, I can dig it. On the flip side, we women get our Bachelorette moments. But once you made the decision stick to it. And if you realize that you made the wrong decision and months later want to come back, do it with a little humility. When I get a text or email from a guy I haven't seen or heard from in five months, he gets the side eye. Assuming I even remember the dude (hint, add your name in the text because, crazy thing, I probably haven't waiting by the cell phone for you to call all this time) at least apologize for the disappearance act and come hard with the "courting". A girl likes to feel special!

3)Stalkers.  If you wink or like or favorite me but don't ever write to or respond to my email then I gets uncomfortable. A friend noticed a guy viewing her page almost daily but he never wrote to her. Naturally that creeped her out. I can't tell you how many guys have liked my photo or favorite me but never write. Why? No, honestly, I need to know because in my mind, and many women's minds, you are just viewing our photos over and over again and well...the thought ain't pretty. So if it's really that you are just shy, get pass it, you never know if the woman will like you if you don't bother to write. If you are married and just staring, stop it. And if you are too cheap to purchase a subscription, save up! Morale of the story: Stop creeping us out!

Because the more you know....

Bmore Bashing

I am a Baltimore Native. Yes, I grew up in the county but when I moved out from my parents, I moved to the city. I was educated in Baltimore (by way of Loyola and University of Maryland Law), got my culture from Baltimore and had many a good time there. While I no longer live in Baltimore I find a need to stand up for it. So what's there to stand up to, you ask?

Upon my exodus from Baltimore, I cannot tell you the number of times I will tell someone where I'm from and get everything from a raised eyebrow to a "are you packing?" to a "but you don't seem/sound/look like you are from there".  What does that mean? It's so annoying!

As if my life in Baltimore was just one long episode of The Wire. It doesn't matter if the person I'm speaking to came from a not so spiffy neck of the woods or are not living so comfortably, they still feel in a place to judge. Why the hate towards Baltimore? I've had people recount many a tale about an unfortunate event they have had in Baltimore and summarize the whole town with that event. Usually said event is in a less than savory area or club.

Sure, there is crime but there are also great things about this town.

• It's accessible because its small, which for me is a great thing. I love a manageable city (Florence, Amsterdam).

• It has some really cool areas. Fells Point (cute boutiques, good places to eat and drink), Federal Hill (fun bars), Harbor East (fancy and trendy shopping and eating),Mt. Vernon/Charles Village (hipster), Inner Harbor (touristy but fun for shopping/nightlife), Hampden (quirky).
  

• Its artsy. I know people, especially in the music area, who have left their cities to come to Baltimore because of the art scene. (Check out Mt. Vernon and Charles Village area)

• Movies love us. Sure The Wire, The Corner and Homicide were filmed here. But Wikipedia "films shot in Baltimore" and you will see a host of notables you didn't know were filmed here. Mostly because its a town that has locations that can mimic other cities. Step Up 1 and 2 were filmed here. House of Cards, He's Just Not That Into You, Sleepless in Seattle...
  
  Just to name a few. If this city was so dangerous, I doubt so many stars would risk their lives coming here.

• It's a great place to learn. John Hopkins, University of Maryland Grad Schools, Loyola are all top tier schools and there are many others (Towson, Morgan, Coppin, Notre Dame, University of Baltimore...).

• The people. Sure some folks are "special". But Baltimoreans are a chill, down to earth, non pretentious, fun bunch.

No city is prefect. Not every city can be glamorous. But one thing is certain, judging someone based on where they are from is absolutely ridiculous and you never know what great person you are missing out on by dismissing them because of where they came from.