Traveling While Black: Puerto Rico, Dominican Republic and Brazil

So in the fourth installment of this race and travel mini series I discuss my experiences in warm Spanish speaking cities. I lump them together because my experiences were very similar.

 

Let's begin with San Juan and Old San Juan, Puerto Rico. I've actually been here twice. Great food (and drink), nice weather, definitely a fun destination. But this is about race so I will narrow down my recap to my experiences there as a brown girl. Now Puerto Rican's come in all shades so as a brown girl I didn't stick out. However, like any countries that host the African diaspora, there are issues with color discrimination. My first time going there was during law school for a conference. I was feeling myself so I rented a car to get around. When I drove back to my hotel resort from the car rental place I asked the lady at the gate to direct me where to park. She pointed me to where the employees park. I had to explain to her that I was actually a guest and she looked at me with disbelief. Now again, I won't say that she made an assumption based on my skin tone (and hair, it was in my natural curl) but it was off putting. San Juan area does not host a lot of brown people (most of what I saw were fair skinned like JLO). But that was the only "off" experience I had there. I mean, I went back a few years later. I can't throw any shade on PR, it's a good and welcoming place.  



 

 

Then I went to Rio de Janiero, Brazil. Now this is a multi-racial town. Brown of all shades. Mixes of everything (black, white, indian). The people are beautiful. Before I went, I made sure I was in shape. Visions of a bunch of Gisele Bundchens stepping over me like Heidi did Carrie in Sex and the City entered my head. 

But when I got there I blended right in. Color wise and body type. In fact I saw few Giseles! Perhaps they don't reside in Rio! I was stopped several times by people with questions because they thought I was a local. At one point while a friend and I were playing in the water some tourist from Columbia asked to take pictures with us because they thought we were locals. (Okay we were in our twenties so that was flattering). And when some guys from the States met us they were disappointed when they heard us talk and found out we were not locals. Oh, and I found many black hair salons so again, you know that's a mark of acceptance to me!

We came for carnival and I just loved seeing people who looked like me, curls and all in another setting. And the people LOVE them some carnival. The only negative race/color wise was that there was prostitution and a lot of those prostitutes looked like me (brown girls). So there were a few times when I had to signal to the male tourist (usually older white males) that I was not a prostitute (didn't help that my friend and I booked a hotel in the "red light" type district. It was affordable and on Copacabana, what'd we know?) Based on my understanding of the culture, if anything there is more of a history of color discrimination and class issues (the middle class is hard to find).

Finally, a few years ago I went to the Dominican Republic. I once had some friends who are originally from DR mention that when they went back and stayed at a resort chilling by the pool they were treated/spoken to as if they were really the maids and weren't suppose to be there. They are darker toned ladies. I can't recall what part of DR they were in. I went to Cabarete (known for kite surfing) and had no negative experiences with race or color. Many of the people are mid to dark brown and in fact the men often told my friend who is of a light complexion that she needed some sun. I got many declarations of affection while there.  So my description of this town is brief with respect to race. It was just like visiting a Caribbean town.  I felt comfortable. If anything some of the men were too "fresh", to use my old lady term, so I'd say watch out for that and don't wander around alone. But this was my first time that not only my race was of interest in a positive way but my color. Check mark for this place.

Traveling while black: Germany and France

So in part three of my travel and race series I combine Germany and France. I visited these countries during my study abroad in England in the early 2000s. One thing I have noted in my travels is that  some people in other countries are surprised that you, as a person of color, can vacation internationally. This sentiment is changing, however, during that time in Europe I encountered many a person  who could not fathom that I was American.

Now this was after 9/11 and there was a lot of anti-Bush sentiment from all groups so I didn't go shouting it from the roof tops that I was a US citizen. But I swear, people would guess that I was everything but. I got that I was first English, then from a country in Africa (forgot which one), Canadian, Jamaican.

This view is changing slowly but surely now (check out instagram travelnoire for proof) as more and more black people in this country are traveling overseas far and wide. But apparently in the early 2000s this wasn't so? I once again blame the media as I suppose a lot of our television exports of black people were not just Girlfriends and Oprah (I'm looking at you The Wire) so perhaps others simply thought we were too poor to travel? I'd even hear from other black travelers that they'd get mistaken for famous because apparently this is the only way we'd be on travel?

 Let me not get onto my soapbox about the importance of experiencing different cultures if you are lucky enough to be in a position to do this. But, just travel, it'll change your life. Okay so a quick take on Germany and France from the eyes of a person of color.

First Paris, France. I was only here for about 4 days. I did not feel uncomfortable here at all. It's diverse (it attracts a lot of french speaking African people and, therefore, there were places catering to black hair and beauty which is something I'm always kinda sorta checking for when I travel).  This is not surprising as the history of France, although rooted in slavery as well, became more open decades before the U.S. did (it's why Josephine Baker move there, I think, but there were many more black artist who became expats because of the tolerance of the French).  If anything, the main thing I noticed about the French was that they just wanted you to respect their culture and language. They had no problem ignoring you if you asked for directions in English but if you asked for help in some butchered French they were very accommodating and would speak English back to help. I guess it was the effort that counts and we didn't want to be seen as "the ugly American" anyway. Especially not at that time when Americans were such targets. Paris, in the end, is a lovely place and I'd recommend it.

On to Germany. I was here for almost a week in Heidelberg and Frankfurt. I must admit, I was nervous to come here. I mean, with a history of the Holocaust and Neo-Nazis I didn't think a brown girl with the last name Solomon was going to be welcomed. In the airport military/police walked around with rifles which was a first for me so I was even more unnerved. Of course I got "randomly" questioned along with my friend but I wasn't surprised. But, as with many things, time changes attitudes. Of course I've heard current stories of black people facing racism and even assult in Germany. However, for the 4 or 5 days I was there, I felt no racism. I felt stares, lots of them. There are some people of color in Germany but its not a melting pot, at least it wasn't 10 or so years ago. So when a brown girl shows up with natural hair, well I get a couple of looks. But they were looks of interest not distain. I didn't mind the stares since I understood where it was coming from and at least no one asked to touch my hair (this happened to a friend when we were in Spain, however, it was a child so she let her play with her braids).

The music didn't stop when I entered a room. In fact when my friend went to a beauty salon to see if she could get her hair done, although they were not equipped to do "black" hair, they were friendly about trying. My friend opted not to get it done though. When I think of Germany, I think of history, friendly people of today, food, clothes that actually fit me (because they are a curvy people) and a city (Frankfurt) so clean you can eat food off the ground (don't worry, I didn't). Frankfurt of today is not a frightful city to me so it got my stamp of approval.

Traveling While Black: London

In my second post on international travel while being a brown gal we go to England. London to be exact. I studied there for a summer in law school. While there I traveled to other parts of England and also to Germany and France (to be discussed in another post).

I have a strong nostalgia for my time in London but the start was a little shaky. I flew there with many of my class mates and we all were wearing our dorky summer law school program shirts. We got off the plane together. Went through security. Yet I was the one who was randomly stopped and questioned about why I was in the country. Sure I was the only black girl in the group, but I had the same shirt. I stood, embarrassed, as I answered their questions as my class mates stared, walking by me. They asked me several questions. Why was I there? Where was I staying? How long would I be there? What did I do for a living etc.  Was this random? I try not to be super sensitive about this stuff but of course you can't help but have a little voice inside you ask, why, out of all the students was I, the sole black person, picked out and questioned so vigorously? Prior to 9/11 black women were the top group racially profiled on planes (we are drug mules for our drug dealing boyfriends of course). Therefore, the thought did cross my 22 year old mind that perhaps I was being profiled.

I was beginning to wonder if this whole study abroad thing was a good idea.

But I made it to my dorm and hoped for the best since I was going to be there a while and, well, it got better. To be honest, I ended up finding the people of England to be very delightful. They were very friendly to me. It felt like New York (where I stayed in London) but with some southern hospitality. One day I literally stood at a corner with a map opened,  confused about where to go when a nice older white lady asked me if I needed help and then proceeded to give me good directions to my destination.
I mean, people here will help if you ask but they just don't stop and offer, at least not in my experience. And especially not in a big city. That moment always stuck out to me.
I also visited the English country side and beach and Cambridge. All pleasant, racially uneventful experiences.

For a time, and maybe still, I was especially hoping to get back to London.  I enjoyed the diversity and trendiness of the city. It took a while, but I even learned about Brixton, which is an area of London where many black people lived and they even had their own history of racism similar to the L.A. riots. I found a black beauty supply store there so, needless to say, I felt I had it all!


One other thing I enjoy about the British culture is in its media. They aren't as concerned about fulfilling a certain type for their lead roles. I saw way more inter racial couples on TV then (this was early 2000s) than in the US and not all the actresses were thin blondes. Yet the "plain jane" or the brown person was as popular as ever. Before we had a black person leading a mostly a main stream  (Scandal) they had Luther
(Idris and all his accent glory). Only now is US getting in on the game.

Of course I know the history of slavery with this country so I am not saying that racism does not exist here. But for a summer, I was fortunate enough to not experience it and that gets my thumbs up for a city that is safe and comfortable to travel to while black.

Traveling While Black: Barcelona

I absolutely love to travel. In my pretend life I'd love to be a black female version of Anthony Bourdain, except with more focus on shopping instead of food ;-) .  But as a female I can't just pick up and go. I don't have a camera crew with me and although certain places sound awesome, when planning a trip I don't just look at what sites there are to see but what the culture is like towards women and African Americans. I'm not into spending my money in a city in which they will go around calling me the N word, nor a town where I fear for my safety.

Regardless of anything, traveling the world as a black female is markedly different than as a white male. If you thought we faced racism and stereotyping in our own country imagine what

a country that is not as diverse or not raised in our history must think of us. How one sided would a person think if their only experience with black people are what shows and news were exported to their country?

I've been traveling overseas, off and on, for almost twenty years (since I was two, yeah two years old) and my experience has changed over time and depending on the countries. I am fairly certain that there is a link between the media's images of black women and how I am treated.

I will be doing a series of posts dedicated to my experiences traveling overseas as a black woman and would love to hear if others experience things differently or the same regardless of race and gender.

First up:

Barcelona, Spain- my first time experiencing out in your face racism. I loved my time in this country (the shopping, the history, the food) but the racism I experienced will always mar my memories of this place. I hope its better there now. But at the time that I went, the 90s, there weren't a lot of exports of black people in the media. Further some European countries that saw an influx of African immigrants did not appreciate it and extended that negative attitude towards tourist of the African diaspora. It boggles my mind how people can just treat others they don't know poorly.

I came to Spain as part of a group of students and we lived in the homes of the locals. I am not sure my Spanish teacher told the couple we were staying with that we were black. She shouldn't have had to but sadly, these things matter. The couple did seemed surprised to find we were black and showed quickly that they were not comfortable with us there. We never had dinner with them, instead they served us after they ate. And the food was not good (some of the meat was bleeding okay?). Deciding that we didn't deserve that, my roommate and I just ate out every night for dinner. They told my teacher we were messy (I was not and the clothes on the floor they claimed were ours were sometimes theirs). We ended up spending the last night in a hotel so we could have one good night there. On our way out we gave the family flowers and a thanks because we were raised right. In response they just asked us for the key to the house.

In contrast my other classmates were fortunate enough to stay in good homes so I won't blame the whole country. It is just sad that we were off the start treated like second class citizens without having done anything wrong. There were other events (being called a monkey, having some club goers throw ice at us in the club) that really tarnish my memories of the place.

In that same time, I also experienced local males (adults) being overtly flirtatious with us, to the point of harassment in some cases. I was a teenager so this was scary. I still blame this on the export of rap videos which, at the time, featured an array of scantily clad black women. If that's all you see of black culture well, if you're closed minded enough, you act on that.

In sum, would I steer black people away from visiting Barcelona? No way. It was a nice time and most of the people were friendly. It's just interesting to note  that even a time of rest and relaxation can be uprooted by people who feel entitled to mistreat you based solely on your race.

Awkward Interracial Dating?

Just caught the latest episode of my new favorite online show Awkward Black Girl. In this month's episode, our main character goes on her first interracial date and it is indeed awkward. Her friend, an Indian girl, prepares her for the date, including the outfit (a t-shirt and shorts because, per her friend, white guys are more casual). The white guy takes her to a soul food restaurant and spoken word, neither sit right with our girl. The mini episode was cute and humorous but did make me reflect on my own interracial experiences. I am an equal opportunity dater so I've dated just about every race and mix in between. And I have to say...there isn't a great difference. By my late twenties I find that all guys dress pretty well (well, nice for their abilities) for dates (the older the more spiffy!).

Although my first time eating fried chicken and waffles was to a place a white guy took me, it was an upscale joint and diverse place, so no music stopping when we entered the place like on this show (even the black men with white women made faces and her ex said if he'd known she'd date white he wouldn't have broken up with her- I found that sad but not a totally unrealistic occurrence). And although we went to Busboys and Poets after, it wasn't spoken word night but... you know what, maybe this show was right! No, DC, is pretty diverse and we just went there for coffee because it was down the street.

Anyway, I've also done casual outdoor dates with black guys. There simply is no stereotype across the racial lines. Guys are guys, wear some heels and your hair out in some manner (curly or straight) and you're good! As the episode showed, if the pair had just been themselves and taken race out of the equation, they would have had a better time.

Here's the episode if you care to watch...

Black Women Are Ugly?

(my misadventures in Italy will be continued but I had to comment on this first)

We were enslaved, raped, had families ripped apart, struggled for success, have a low chance of getting married, now we’re ugly? Well that’s the case according to my new arch enemy Psychology Today and their pseudo study regarding why black women are less attractive than women of other races.

I am angered by the audacity of the piece and the magazine for validating it by publishing it (seriously I am breaking a sweat trying to find a publisher but you can print this crap?). I have to ask myself why the writer felt the need to even study this topic but the question doesn’t remain unanswered long.

Somewhere the Black is Beautiful idea fell to the way side when it came to women (note: the alleged study says black men are the most attractive race of males but uses stereotypes to support this).  Our media (movies, music videos, TV, magazines, modeling industry) kicked us to the background in support of a repeated pattern of light (mixed, Latina, white), long, straight haired women.

Lucky for me I grew up right before this movement took hold but by the time I graduated college, if you were a hippy, dark skinned girl with kinky hair you were hard pressed to find anyone shouting your beauty besides other women trying to uplift each other.

And the swarm of black male actors dressing as black women didn’t help that image either. Especially when these women were all obese, ghetto and unattractive.  I mean when men dressed as white women in the movies at least their characters tried to look cute (from Some Like it Hot to White Chicks).

And when you see a swarm of black men, especially those with money/fame/success, go for white women and then learn the rate of black women getting married is only 40% no wonder some idiot decided to take notice and comment about it. With such negative images of black women about of course there must be something to it!

It’s not really about our looks but the way we are looked at! America, not just black women, has a problem with obesity (and Hispanics rank as the number one obese group). So it’s not just the weight. It’s the battle we have with trying to fit an image that is not intended for us to fit. And yes, I could encourage black women to take off the weaves, and in other countries stop bleaching their skin but that won’t solve the problem.

Black Girls Rock, yes but we have got to get some buy in from others. On a purely superficial stance how can you say that we are less attractive? We have some great beauties of color from Naomi Campbell to Lela Kibede, Gabrielle Union, Kerry Washington, Tyra Banks, Nia Long, Sanna Latham, Keri Hilson, Beyonce, Iman, Dianne Carroll, Stacey Dash, Megan Goode (heck even those reality show women are cute).  Seriously?

I’ve had men of other races (at least three times I can remember) literally tell me that they usually aren’t attracted to black women but that I’m an exception. Are you kidding me? The reality is you are attracted to black women but you just haven’t encountered many in your day to day that you find attractive. I’ve seen a cute guy of every race so I never rule out a group no matter how rare it is that I see them. The fact that men feel comfortable even saying that to me is the problem I have with this article all together.

When did it become okay to dehumanize black women? Who said our feelings don’t get hurt and why doesn’t anyone care but us?

If you’d like to sign the petition against Psychology Today to issue an apology please click this link. http://act.colorofchange.org/sign/psychtoday

Yes, I Do Exercise

I know, I’m a black woman, who exercises, how did that happen? More importantly why is it that some folk are so surprised or encouraged to hear about it? Now, as you hopefully know by now, I am not a big proponent of stereotyping but the reality in most areas of our fair country is that there are far less black women getting our Jane Fonda on than are.


And it’s not because we are inhumanely healthy or are born with fast metabolisms (that’s a rare diamond deal). We just aren’t doing it. At least not enough.

Now I live in a little area where black women and Latinas are showing up at the gym in full force and most of my instructors happen to be black women. However, outside my little world I know there are far too many of us using the same excuses to avoid the gym.

You don’t want to pay the fee for a gym.

You don’t want to ruin your hair.

You’ve got too much to do.

It’s boring to workout.

Here’s my response:

Don’t pay the fee for a gym, workout at home. In an age of Netflix, Comcast on demand, fit tv, PX whatever, you can do this at home while watching Grey’s Anatomy if you like.

Hair, okay, I’d rather go around with my Rudy Huxtible hair for a few days a week and look toned than have a fabulous do’ supporting my many chins.

Like jello, there is always room for working out. I’ve seen people at the gym on bikes/treadmills/ellipticals, reading school work as they go. Cook for the week on the weekends so you don’t have to rush home to make dinner, workout in the mornings before your day gets away from you. Walk your dog, walk your kids, walk your husbands, just get out there! Where there is a will, there is a way!

As for boring, boo, there are so many types of workouts that there’s something for you. I was able to still workout when I had a broken toe and was in a walking cast for three months (I just did Pilates).

No excuses. Now go out there and prove them wrong. Sistas know how to work it and work out!

I Wish This Was An April Fool's Day Joke

So my friend put me on to this article that truly appalled me.

The main take away of the article is that there are more black men in prison today than there were enslaved in 1850.

Now let’s be clear, there are some circumstances that make this fact more realistic. One mainly being that the population of African Americans is higher than it was over 150 years ago. But black males make up about 40% of the prison system, while I don’t believe we even make up 15% of the population in this country.

The author behind this information suggest much of this imprisonment is the result of the War on Drugs and its clear to those who have done the research that there is a bias in certain punishment for crimes usually perpetrated by blacks as opposed to whites (ex. The great crack v. cocaine debate and their differing prison sentences). Now I could go deeper and write a dissertation on why I believe more black men are incarcerated than ever before (the effects of slavery, one parent homes, economic injustice, slave mentality- take your pick) but I just want to focus in on the effects of this statistic.

1) Prison has the same effects as slavery; most importantly one becomes disenfranchised. With so many behind bars and the fact that we have lesser numbers, it is more important than ever that the few of us who can, vote. The 2012 Presidential election isn’t so far away…

2) Continued rise in low numbers of black women reaching the alter and kids having a biological father in their lives. (That’s assuming you are only interested in dating within your race, if so, the outlook can be cloudy with a chance of rain). How encouraging is it to say that you’re dad is in prison?

3) Continued overall lower education of a group which naturally leads to less socio-economic power and, for many, crime/prison.

4) Growing pattern of stereotyping and racism. Because as we all should know, if something is done enough times by a person or a group, the expectation will become that many members of this group are similar.

I work in an aspect of civil rights and matters regarding discrimination often plague my brain. I watch the news and hear about how two black men murdered another pizza delivery guy for $13 and I ask myself why? Our ancestors fought and died for our freedom yet it seems many are voluntarily, for no righteous reason, putting themselves back into that same type of system.

image from http://www.theformofmoney.blogharbor.com/

Why?

Is what went through my head when I found out the alleged killer of the young woman slain in the Bethesda clothing store a couple of weeks ago was a black female coworker. Now don’t get me wrong, I am saddened a young woman was killed and a bit relieved that this was not a random act of violence in an area thought to be safe. However, as a black woman, every time I hear about another black person doing something negative, I still cringe. Yes, I know what this person did doesn’t or shouldn’t affect me but lets be honest; even today, many people still judge us by the color of our skin and not the content of our character. Before I open my mouth, there are many people out there who think they know all there is to know about me simply because I am a black woman. I can’t begin to count the many times I’ve had to tell someone not to treat me a certain way based on stereotypes of women or black people or the combination of the two.

Really sir, you’re surprised I’m not an unwed mother?
Yes, I actually dig U2 and many other rock groups, past and present.
Surprising, I know, but I’m actually not after your money.
Yes, it is shocking that I don’t have an unprovoked bad attitude.

The last one really “grinds my gears” because there are so many people (and by people, I mean folks of all races) who fall prey to the idea that black women are mean. And there are many out there ready to exploit that thought to the fullest.

Especially in the media. Shall I count the many reality shows featuring angry, mean spirited black women. There’s Basketball Wives, Housewives of Atlanta, Bad Girls Club, The Apprentice (have you seen Star Jones and Nene Leaks go at it?) random VH1 celebrity dating show. And even shows that focus on black women as alleged friends fall into the “black women gotta hate on each other” routine. Although Girlfriends was what I dubbed the black Sex and the City, rival gangs had closer ties than these women and the series ended with one of the characters never mending her friendship with one of the other ladies (granted she left the series but still… and the show never got an official finale- I don’t want to see it as a stage play like they did for the Jeffersons so they could have some closure to their canceled series. Okay back to the program recently in progress). And don’t get me started on the Game; is anyone friends on that show?

Oh and other shows that feature a black female character (hard to find but there are some) sometimes fall into the routine. For the first few seasons of Grey’s Anatomy, the only black female on the show was called “the Nazi”. Regina King’s character in Southland and Jada Pinkett's character in Hawthorne are both tough but in a good way as one is a good detective and the other is a nurse fighting for her patients and fellow nurses. Still the underlying message is black women can have a tough edge.

And that’s fine if used in a positive light or at the very least shown in as much light as the negative images. Now that Oprah is going off the air, where is the balance? These images affect who wants to date us, hire us, befriend us, and provide customer service to us. And yes, I know that what this girl did in Bethesda wasn't fiction and there are many women who embody the sterotypes we are fighting against just please don't lump me in those same groups.

So how about for every Precious movie we have to applaud let’s send some spotlight to For Colored Girls (I’m sorry, Loretta Divine or Kimberly Elise should have got at least an Oscar nod but I guess they weren’t angry enough) and for every act of violence by a black woman that is televised can we show some positive actions by black women? Hey, if I need to volunteer in Japan to help where I can I would (just someone give me some money to get there and explain to my manager at my new job!). That may be asking too much, I'm well aware but let’s just show some other sides to us, because, like all people, we are not one dimensional!

*steps off soap box...until another day*