Zero Tolerance For Little Jerks

I know I'm late to the game but I still have to comment on this. What happened to this woman is disgusting and I have no sympathy for these ignorant children. They were old enough to know they were being cruel. There used to be a time that kids feared adults or at least had enough respect for them that they wouldn't dare act up in front of them. Not sure what's gone on since I left school.

Having been a victim of bullying in my middle school years and a bit in high school, I know how cruel kids can be and I know that with each decade kids are becoming crueler. It's easier to be mean now based on the access to ugliness that kids see on TV and the fact that they have more mediums to be jerks (facebook, twitter, text messaging, emailing). I know middle school kids are the cruelist of all and would not want to repeat any part of those three years of my life ever again. The damage bullying can do to your self esteem even into your adult years is profound.

Yes, some kids grow out of being bullies but many don't. With the work that I do, I can tell you with great certainty that bullying doesn't stop at graduation. A boss can bully and so can a coworker. We might call it workplace harassment. And that's exactly what this poor bus monitor faced. What makes it so horrible is not  just the dispicable things these little jerks said but that they were so heartless in the first place. What was the point? Do they feel like better people? Who are their parents?

I never understood being pointlessly mean to someone. Not as a child and still not as an adult. I believe in karma and I believe in giving out what you hope to receive. To put someone down who has never done you wrong and who should receive your respect as an elder is mind blowing to me. To verbally assault a person unprovoked is not something that should be taken lightly. I hope these kids get a severe punishment. They should be taught now that such behavior is not acceptable. In fact, in the "real world" it could get you physically hurt or fired from your job. At the very least it makes you a menace to society that this world needs less of. I hope that other children ostracize these little buttwipes; nothing like your own peers hating your behavior that really makes things hit homes.

Don't Ask Me That!

So I'm listening to the radio at work this morning and the show hosts were questioning callers regarding whether they would be pissed if a man said “should you be eating that?”. This, to me, falls in the category of questions that will get you pimped slapped. So I thought, wouldn’t it be nice if I help the fellow man by giving him a list of the top questions/statements that would avoid him receiving the evil eye from a woman he likes?

Should you be eating that?- Nothing makes me feel more like a moo-cow than me being in the middle of a deliciously fattening meal, doing my little chair dance with every bite only to be interrupted by a dude with a disapproving glance asking me this question with the allegedly questionable food on my fork headed towards my mouth. Now, it doesn’t matter the size of the girl, it is offensive all around. If I am overweight, thanks for basically calling me fat. If I mentioned trying to drop a few, thanks but I don’t need your input. I already know the chocolate covered French fries wont’ help me on this quest and I don’t need you hovering over me monitoring my food intake. If I’m thin, thanks but stay off my plate, women shouldn’t be penalized if we choose to eat things that aren’t on the rabbits food list. I see you enjoying your ribs, let me enjoy mine too!

Are you on your period?- You know what? Sometimes we get angry for good reason and it’s not associated with being on a menstrual cycle. Nothing says “you are angry for no good reason” or “I don’t value your feelings/opinion” more than blowing us off with this dismissive question. I am angry because someone did something to piss me off and I need to express said anger. My anger is not always hormonal just as yours is not so give me the benefit of the doubt and assume I am rationally angry until I prove otherwise.

Calm down!- Here’s a secret guys, you know what this question does to women? Makes them less calm! Half the reason is because they probably were initially quite calm just a bit peeved or anxious which you didn’t want to deal with and thus throw out this often misused phrase. We recognize that’s what happened and then get angrier which leads to us being less calm. It’s a vicious cycle. Instead say let the person (us) rant a bit till we tire ourselves out and then talk. Or interrupt with “I hear what you are saying” or “you seem really bothered by this” (yes I am a licensed mediator).

Can we watch this game/fight/match first?- Two answers: Yes, but be prepared for me to fall asleep…angry. No, because I know this game is going to take forever and whatever I wanted to originally do we will miss or be late for or whatever I asked you to do won’t get done which will in turn lead me to be angry which you will then ask “are you on your period” which will make me irate and then you will say “calm down” and you see where this is going? Just DVR it and keep it moving!

Are you ready yet? – NO!!! I’m not. Because if I was ready, I’d say “I’m ready” or I’d be done doing whatever I was in the middle of doing before you came in and asked me that question for probably the fifth time. I realize it might take women twice as long to get ready than guys to go out but if you want us to go out on your arm looking more like Beyonce and less like Ceelie (from The Color Purple), you will allow us the time to beautify and not delay the process by questioning us or telling us you are leaving. We don’t need the pressure and it puts us in a bad mood. Just sit back and watch the game we made you DVR above.

And then there are the regular first meeting questions you don’t ask like- how old are you, how much do you weigh, is that your real hair, how many people you slept with, do you want to get married (don’t talk about something with us that you might not do with us). Hope this helps!

Another 48 hours...

So if you have ever read any of my blogs, you know I am an aspiring writer. I am currently trying to get an agent and build my creative resume. This year has started off pretty well. I got a short piece published in the Maryland Writers Association Pen In Hand quarterly writing magazine.  Then I got asked to join as a writer and actress for the DC 48 hour film project. If you've never heard of this project, check out this link http://www.48hourfilm.com/. If you are an aspiring writer, actor, film maker, this is a great project to join.  They have this competition in every major city all over the world and the top winners get shown at cannes. My team was unlucky enough to get stuck with the musical genre so so cannes for us because its just too hard.

But that didn't deter me from trying out for the Baltimore 48 hour film project in which my team got...musical again! And I was stuck singing again. Le sigh, guess that's life. Anywho I had fun doing this. The one thing to note about this competiton is no matter what genre you get you have to have certain elements in your film. This years element was: a character named Louise Ledbetter who is a busybody neighbor, a dog collar and the line, "if you want me, you know where to find me". I think we did okay.

Here's a trailer of the film. If you get the urge to check out the whole film then go to the screenings in Baltimore. Our screening group is June 13th at 930pm at the Charles Theater, tickets are $9!

I'm not old...am I?

So now that I live in a city (sort of) I no longer have the luxury of driving down the street to the mall. As such I have increased my online shopping, which I find to be a very bad thing for a clothing/shoe/makeup/purse obsessed gal. In my shopping daze I ordered a romper. It was a cute brown halter one, got it from Arden B, a little short but why not I say. Then I thought about it, I'm in my early 30s (there I said it, nothing to be ashamed of), do I now have to be more thoughtful about the things I choose to wear? Can I no longer wear low pigtails, colorful sneakers, mini skirts, glitter make up, pink hair, tattoos, facial piercings, T-shirts with cartoons on them, rompers (the jumpsuits less conservative cousin)? At what point do you need to stop going into Forever 21 and the junior department?

I always thought the fun thing about Forever 21 is that it realized the clothes were young but didn't want you to feel bad about wearing them by instead saying you'll be forever young by wearing them. I figure as long as my butt can fit in it, why not keep wearing it. But say, and wouldn't it be nice, I was the same size as I am now at 60. Should I be strutting down the street in a romper? And would the me 15 years ago who saw someone my age in a romper say that old heifer needs to sit down and put on some elastic mom jeans?

Granted 30s is allegedly the new 20s but still, I think there has a to be a line regarding what is age appropriate. Maybe its the profession (I figure if you are a tattoo artist you can look like anything for as long as you want). Or maybe its if you have kids (does it look right to be wearing your daughters close and having matching blue hair?). Maybe its how you age (if you can pass for younger, does it matter?). Maybe its about how YOU feel and not what anyone else thinks. In that case, me and my 30 something year old butt will proudly strut myself down the street in my romper. Because if I feel good in it, then I'll look good in it and if no one else thinks so... who cares, I'm in my 30s! That's the one good thing about getting older- your confidence grows and you don't need others to validate you!

Get it Right, Get it Tight

So after coming out of a live-in relationship I am dismayed to find that I have gained five pounds. I used to scoff at people who gain weight in relationships. I'd think- how does that happen? What changes in your life to make you just gain weight? People call it the fat and happy syndrome. And somehow I caught it. Again, I am trying to learn from that relationship, particularly how to keep being the best me I can be while still being giving and compromising in a relationship. So what did this girl do to gain weight? Let's see: I didn't workout as much as I used to, I ate heavier meals and later in the day, I drank more and ate out more, I didn't sleep as much. So now I have to figure out how not to fall back into that again. The easiest option is to date someone with healthy eating habits and who works out but the best option is that even if they don't, don't give up your healthy lifestyle or fall for any peer pressure.

With that being said, now I gotta drop this weight in time for my summer beach trip. Running is usually the best way for me but the thought of running makes my heart hurt. And yet I usually feel empowered after I do i. I'd like to be able to run a 5k by the end of the summer. I started today and ran (okay, jog/walked) a little over 3 miles. I started off wrong by going at 9am instead of the 8am I had intended. It was already in the 80s. Midway through I was sure someone was going to have to peel my butt off the sidewalk because jogging mixed with the hot sun baking on your back stealing your life force is not a good mix. I probably should have brought water. But I made it through and then did some weight and toning exercises when I got home with a fruit salad as my breakfast (instead of the waffles I wanted okay, still want). Sadly the scale had not adjusted when I got on it after but this time next week maybe it will! Wish me luck!

I'm Baaaccck!

So yes, I realize I've been gone for way too long. I'll be honest about why, I was in a relationship and dropped the things that were important to me like writing. I won't blame the guy, it was my fault. One thing I learned from coming out of the relationship is that I need to establish time to do the things that make me, well, me! I don't blame the other person. You can't expect someone to force you to keep up the things you liked to do. You make some adjustments and you might do less of certain things but don't give them up. So now I'm back in the writing game. I plan to work on finding an agent for my two finished novels, complete an unfinished novel and work on other creative avenues that come my way and build my writing resume. Time goes way too fast and you just never know if you'll have the chance to get back into the things that make you happy.

Tough Love- Whateva

Just as I was about to go on blogging hiatus, my favorite love to hate show Tough Love is back on. You might know the show where an alleged successful match maker (Steve) tells women how horrible they are in their dating life (you know, the "hopelessly single"). Yes, some of the women are in need of some wake up calls (the superficial, low self esteem, angry) but half the women on the show are what I deemed normal. And to make matters worse the butt wipe match maker puts women in the worse scenarios and bashes them because they didn't handle it well. It's not like every day I enter a room with 30 or more dudes checking me out and taking notes simply on what I'm wearing, my figure, and how I walk across a room. And lets not forget that in episode two the kind hearted turd has men  follow each woman he is interested in, into an elevator where she is supposed to pick the guy she wants to date based on unsuperficial reasons in the matter of seconds it takes for them to get to the roof top deck (rolls eyes).

Oh yeah, did mention this is set in Miami, where if you are over a size 4 you aren't even looked twice at. So yes, the size 0 woman in a dress the length of a shirt gets over 9 guys following her into the elevator and the probably size 8 former beauty queen with body issues only gets 1 guy, who actually says he just came up to her because he felt bad for her. And this is her fault? How is she supposed to feel good about herself if she is surrounded by that kind of superficiality?

When I first watched this show in season one, as a single gal I thought I could learn a few things but all I get out of it now is pure entertainment (and a bit of high blood pressure). Look, I'm all for being the best I can be and showing that best side of me to a potential partner but I don't like the idea of changing who you are to get a man. If you are quirky, stay that way. If you, like me, have a sarcastic sense of humor, keep it. If you aren' a size two, so what, as long as you're healthy. It takes a lot of work to keep up a facade to make someone want to date you and even more to keep it going into a relationship.  It's much more fun to be yourself and the right person will think so too.

Get More: Tough Love (Season 3), TV Shows, Full Episode Video, Reality TV Shows